The Worst Betrayal
by InfernoAlive
Summary: Clary's older sister Val is known to have many affairs with many men so it's no surprise to Clary when she declares her engagement to Jace Herondale. But when Val's fiancé comes to stay, the tension and temptation set in, and Clary finds herself committing the worst betrayal possible. Could she really be falling for her sister's husband-to-be? *DISCONTINUED*
1. Diamond Rings and Whirlwind Romances

**This is my new idea and I'm liking it a lot - I hope you guys out there like it too!**

 **Just to lay out Clary's family in this fanfic: Jocelyn and Luke married and had two girls, Valentina and Clary. Valentine and Jonathan never existed, just to make that clear. Any other questions you have, PM me about it and I'll answer them the best I can!**

 **Again, hope you enjoy this. R and R if you did! x**

 **~InfernoAlive**

* * *

The ring was beautiful, I had to admit.

It was one of the biggest diamonds I'd ever seen, glimmering like a star, set into the bright, golden band, with a collection of smaller diamonds surrounding it like the milky way. One look at it, and you knew it had cost big bucks. But of course, my sister had to go and marry a guy that was practically a millionaire. She'd said it was her type and I'd laughed – wasn't that everyone's?

Val wore it now, fingers spread in an obvious gesture as we both sat at the dining table, gushing about her and Jace's 'whirlwind romance', or whatever. I fought the urge to snort, keeping my eyes firmly on my sketchpad as she declared it was true love. They'd only been engaged for a month and already she was planning out the catering, wedding dress and church for her big, white wedding.

I nodded along to her passionate speech, chipping in with the occasional 'oh, definitely!' and 'that's so cute!' when I guessed it was necessary. Really I was focused on my most recent drawing: one of a rose bleeding into a lake, petals drained to white, the red like blood on the water. It was tragic, yet beautiful in an eerie way. I liked it a lot, paying close attention to the smudging of the rose bud.

"So, Clary, what do you think?" I paused, lifting my head to see Val's hopeful expression, blue eyes sparkling.

"Um..." I tried to think back to the conversation. What was it she'd been talking about again? I decided to wing it, "It sounds great!" My older sister frowned slightly, biting her lip.

"I'm not sure though. I know you've never met him, but I've told you he's got blonde hair. A golden wedding dress would surely clash... don't you think?"

I racked my brain for a reply that would satisfy Val, which meant it had to be perfect. For the age of 25, she'd been through a lot of romances, enough to fill up a whole series of love stories. She'd been engaged at least three times, and been married once before to a guy called Gabriel. The boyfriends were mere shadows, and at least hundred shadows at that. Val wasn't a slut of any kind, Mum had insisted, just a girl who was hunting for love with all her might, for her perfect happily ever after.

But even Mum and Dad had grown tired of the many men, and didn't bother with welcoming them any more.

Me on the other hand, was a completely different story. At the age of 20, I was officially a social outcast, having had only one boyfriend in my entire life, and it hadn't even been that serious. I could barely remember him now, but then again, it was good to forget the humiliation.

After graduating, Val and I had decided to move in together in a flat, and for the first few months it'd been great. That feeling of being free of parents, of living in the real world, was surreal and recklessly amazing. Then, Val coming home late at night, giggles and laughter becoming a common pattern, with a man creeping out of her bedroom door early in the morning and disappearing out of her life. _If she was a romantic,_ I'd thought, _she was definitely a naughty one._

Just like Mum and Dad, the idea of new men in Val's life had become tiresome to me. This Jace couldn't be any different to the rest. I sighed, returning to the present.

"It's _your_ wedding, Val. Do what you think is best." She nodded, a smile teasing at her lips.

"Alright. Thanks Clare-bear." I rolled my eyes at the nickname and she grinned, leaning over to hug me, her brown, pin-straight hair tumbling out of its neat bun. When she pulled away, her phone buzzed and she picked it up fast. Val blushed reading it, tucking a strand of her behind her ear.

I tried to crane my neck to see the message as subtly as possible, but she turned off her phone quick.

"Clary? Can I ask you something?" I put down the pencil, deciding to give her my undivided attention now.

"Well, you already have. Want to ask me something else?" She laughed but then turned serious again.

"Yeah. You know that Jace is coming to stay here in a few days?" I nodded, "I just want to make sure it's still okay with you. I mean, you haven't met him, and if you don't feel comfortable I can always-"

"Val." I cut in gently, "Of course it's okay with me! Continue your 'love at first sight' romance!" What I said was genuine; her unexpected kindness, her asking me, had warmed me on the inside.

"Great! It's all settled then." She gave me a wink, getting up from the table to head to her bedroom.

I resumed back to my drawing, sketching out the stem of the rose carefully. I thought back to the morning she'd revealed she was engaged to a Jace Herondale, how I'd vaguely remembered her talking about him once or twice. He was apparently a male model, which immediately made me think of a self-absorbed prick, in love with himself. But if my sister thought he was good enough, I'd have to trust her on it. Then again, Val wasn't the best judge of men, considering how many failed affairs she'd had.

Well, I would be the judge of Jace Herondale when he came to stay here. To see, in my eyes, if he was good enough for my sister.


	2. Meeting The Fiancé

I heard them the minute they came in through the front door, scuffling around and laughing, sounding like a teenage couple.

I stirred my black coffee, sipping it nonchalantly as Val called out, "Hey, Clary, we're here!"

Like I didn't know that already.

She'd gone out early in the morning to pick up Jace and bring him back to our place straight away, but apparently they'd had a few complications along the way. I huffed into the mug, taking a seat on the stool.

Val clattered into the kitchen, dropping her bag and keys on the counter. I heard another set of footsteps along with hers but didn't bother looking up. "Sorry for being late!" She didn't sound sorry at all, "Jace was a bit hungry and we decided to stop for lunch." I arched an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

I heard a male voice, "Where do you want me to hang up my coat?" The voice sounded like honey, pronouncing the words in an elegant, fluid British accent. Huh, of course Val would pick a guy who was British. She went weak at the knees at the sound of their voices. I hated to admit it, but even _my_ heart flipped over when he spoke.

"Oh, just put it in the hallway Jace!" Val called back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, blushing like a little girl. I didn't like it when she started acting all silly and simpering to guys. It made me think they were taking away the strong, independent Val I knew and loved.

I felt her nudge me but I shrugged her off, trying to choke down my black coffee. I didn't usually go for black, but I was feeling foul right now so why couldn't my drink be?

"Give him a chance!" She hissed in my ear before straightening up quickly when Jace came back into the room, "Jace, this is my sister Clary." She said my name through gritted teeth, an obvious sign clearly directed at me. I rolled my eyes and finally decided to look up.

Whoa.

It should've been what I expecting really – an insanely gorgeous guy with tattoos running up his arms and that certain bad-boy glint in his eyes. Val said to me once that she went for the 'dangerous' rather than 'cute'. "Why play it safe, when you can so much fun taking a risk?" she'd said with a wink. I was never sure if she was entirely right though.

Sure Jace Herondale was my sister's typical choice, just like all the others, so why he seem... different? He had a full head of blonde hair, curling slightly at the ends, and intense, amber eyes like flecks of gold. Strong jawline, neatly chiselled features, not forgetting that naughty smirk... my sister had done well, I'll give her that.

He grinned, leaning down and holding out his hand, "Nice to meet you. I'm Jace." It felt odd shaking his hand, his warm fingers sliding through mine. I nodded then found my voice.

"I know. I'm Clary." Then I felt stupid because my sister had already introduced me. Too bad. Jace smirked, standing tall again, before walking over to Val, snaking an arm around her waist. Her blue eyes lit up at his contact and I flushed awkwardly, realising they probably wanted some alone time.

"Um, I'll be in the living room then," I started, but neither was taking any notice of me, just gazing at each other like they were the only ones in the room. As if I were invisible. I tried to ignore the hurt in my heart, getting up from the table to leave.

I switched on Netflix, surfing through channels to find one to match my mood status. Preferably something with with a whole of lot of sisters forgetting their sisters over guys, when they'd probably forget the guy ever existed this time next year... I sighed, tossing the remote aside. I was way too worked up about this. Val had had tonnes of boyfriends, even a few fiancés over the years, and none of them had made me this upset. So why Jace?

I thought about heading to my room to calm down a bit and then seconds later heard a bunch of laughing and knocks as Jace and Val stumbled into her bedroom. This flat had really thin walls. Did I really want to hear them going on at it while I tried to get my wits together. Um... I'll pass.

Finally, I decided on reading, picking up a romance novel, one about a girl falling in love with her captor. I'd started reading it last week or something, the first line being _These manacles he places on my wrists are just his way of saying he loves me,_ that just intrigued me. Why would someone fall in love with a person who hurts them? I tried to sink into the storyline as best as I could but gave up completely when I heard Val's low moans coming from the door.

I huffed, grabbing my phone and earbuds, plugging them in quick and putting on Coldplay at the highest volume it could possibly go, drowning out my sister's noises. Getting my sketchpad, I drew a pair of hands, pale and scarred, with metal cuffs tightened firmly around them. I paid close attention to the chains attached to them, highlighting the gleam of the metal, the loop of the chain.

In my best calligraphy, I wrote along the length of the manacles my favourite line from the book so far: _Having your choices taken away from you is the truest freedom – freedom from decisions._

In a way it was true but also wrong. You were always trapped if you were unable to make your own choices, having your life dictated by someone else. There was no freedom in that, as far as I saw, but maybe others saw things differently. I dropped the pencil back on the table, then my book, slipping a bookmark into my page.

Carefully, I took out my earbuds but heard no suspicious sounds coming from the door. Slumping in relief, I got up and headed to the kitchen, planning to have a snack before going to bed. Time to raid the larder.

I smuggled some Doritos and a bottle of Sprite, stuffing it down at the kitchen table when a certain British accent made me jump, "Having a midnight feast, I see." I swallowed down the last of the Sprite, wiping crisp crumbs from my mouth.

"You never saw anything, Blondie." He laughed as I threw everything back into the larder, quietly closing the door.

"Got it, Red." I snorted, turning around to see his smirk that seemed to be his trademark, and a pair of glimmering, golden eyes. I frowned when I recognised my drawing in his hands. He saw my pointed stare and winked, "Just saw this lying around. It's good."

"It's mine." I clarified, grabbing it from his hands and smoothing out the creases. His eyebrows were raised, "What? Don't believe that I actually drew it?" Jace chuckled.

"Course I do." The tone in his voice told me he really didn't. He was mocking me, and I didn't like it one bit. My cheeks flamed and I felt the urge to defend myself, to prove to Jace that he was wrong. I stopped myself just in time; why did I need to prove myself to him? _I_ knew I'd drawn it, and that was enough. The satisfaction was underwhelming.

"Now if you don't mind..." I shoved past him, my drawing held protectively to my chest, walking to my bedroom.

Jace Herondale seemed like a jerk, even if he had a charming British accent. Different to the rest? Now, he seemed exactly the same. I dreaded the next few weeks he'd be staying here, wondering how on earth I was going to survive.

* * *

 **Thank you for all reviewers/followers/favourites for the last chapter. It means so much! ;)**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	3. Fighting for the Remote

Rubbing my eyes, I walked into the kitchen to see Val eating a bowl of cereal at the table.

"Mornin'!" she greeted cheerfully, but frowned when I didn't reply. "Clary, are you okay? You cranky from lack of sleep or something?" I couldn't resist.

"Well, it's kind of hard to get to sleep when someone's fucking into my wall." Val's cheeks flamed and she got up from the table sharply.

"I thought you said you didn't mind him staying here!"

"That's before I realised he's a complete prick! You can do better than that, Val-" She seethed through her teeth.

"Who are you to judge a man? You've never had a proper boyfriend!" Val shot. That hurt, it really did. She looked regretful the minute she'd said it, but nothing she could've said would take it back. The damage had been done, "Clary, you know I didn't mean it-"

I stopped her with a cold look, "Do I? I don't seem to even know you any more." We both went quiet, her sitting back down to finish her cornflakes, me opening the larder for a muffin.

"Hey." I swore under my breath as Jace leaned down to give Val a kiss. "What are we doing for breakfast?" It took all my strength to not shout at him _You should know, shouldn't you? Seeing as you were "doing" my sister last night!_

"Just scraps for now, baby." Val cleared her throat, properly worrying I was going to say something to embarrass her. Fortunately for her, I was keeping it all bottled up. I grabbed the muffin savagely, setting it down on the plate and hurrying out of the kitchen as fast as I could.

I switched on the TV, clicking onto _Good Morning,_ and chewing my muffin half-heartedly. I heard whispering from the kitchen, and Val saying my name. It sounded like she was crying, and a small stab of guilt struck my heart. I turned up the volume to block it out but nothing could stop me from hearing a certain pair of footsteps walking into the living room.

I slouched further into the sofa as Jace down next to me, sliding as far away from him as possible.

"Val's upset." I narrowed my eyes, focusing on the blonde news lady behind the desk on the screen.

"I know." Jace raised his eyebrows.

"She's going to go out for the day with some friends."

"That's nice." He scoffed, reaching over to turn the TV off. I turned to glare at him, making a grab for the remote but he held it tauntingly out of reach.

"Hey! Prick, give it back!" He smirked, making me want to punch him in the face so it could be wiped off. But the last time I punched someone, I ended up breaking my knuckles, gone through a lot of pain, and the person had barely suffered.

"First things first, Val thinks we need a bit of... bonding time." I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"No amount of bonding time going's to make me like you, Blondie."

"We'll see about that," his golden eyes watched me carefully and a sliver of fear woke in my heart, "Just don't go and fall in love with me, will you? Not the most comfortable situation." I had to laugh at the absurdity of it.

"Don't worry. I highly doubt that's going to happen." The fear was gone, replaced by annoyance. Jace was so full of himself, so sure. I admired that trait, something I'd wished I could be sometimes, but there was such a thing as _too_ sure. He spoke like all he had to do was snap his fingers and I would jump off a cliff for him.

He cocked his head to the side, "You might just be the first, Clary Garroway." I rolled my eyes again, for what must've been the fifth time in his presence.

"You're too much, Jace Herondale." I made another grab for the remote but he still didn't hand it over, "I've got it. Bonding Time to cheer up my big sister. Now, please?" Jace pursed his lips and I huffed. What did the guy want now?

"One more thing, Red." He laughed at my seething expression. "Don't worry, it will only take a second." He turned serious, "I know it seems like I'm just another guy, another toy your sister's picked up. But I'm not going anywhere, okay? I love her and I won't let her down like the others. So, you're just going to have to get used to me being here." I was speechless when he handed me the remote, walking to the kitchen.

'Get used to him being here?' 'Not going anywhere?' I clenched my fists, forgetting all about the TV, striding into the kitchen after him. I found Jace leaning against the counter, the beginning of a grin on his infuriatingly handsome face.

"Not watching TV, I take it? You were so desperate for the damn remote a few minutes ago..." My face darkened and his grin grew wider.

"You can't just walk in here, and act like you belong! It's-"

"It's what?" I faltered off, unsure, and he started to laugh. My vision grew red and I stormed up to him, prodding his chest with my finger.

"It's fake, it's wrong. You'll be gone by the end of the month, trust me. I know Val and..." Jace had gone oddly quiet, staring down at my hand splayed across his chest. I became conscious of his hard muscled stomach, the rapid beat of his heart. He met my gaze and his golden eyes shone. I gulped, withdrawing my hand quickly as if he'd burned me. I heard Jace swallow, clear his throat.

"Clary-" I shook my head, backing away slowly.

"I need to... go..." He opened his mouth as if he were going to argue but I didn't stick around to see. Heart racing, I fled, running into my bedroom and slamming the door behind me. What had just happened? Breathing hard, I sat down on my bed, thinking back to five minutes ago, not able to get that look in Jace's eyes out of my head. The feel of his warm flesh against my hand...

Just then, a jolt ran through me when a knock sounded on my door. Jace? But it was Val's voice I heard, "Clary? Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Val opened the door, face made up, wearing a cute miniskirt and a top. "I just wanted to say I'm going out and..." She was careful to avoid my gaze.

"Val," I began and she finally looked at me, "I'm sorry for what I said this morning and-"

"No, I'm sorry, Clary." She interrupted gently, pulling me into a hug, "I was being a bitch, and I'm really sorry." I hugged her back gratefully. She let go of the sisterly embrace and smiled at me, "Jace is different though, Clary. Just... get to know him." I plastered on a fake smile back, biting my lip.

"Sure. See you soon!" Val nodded, giving me a five-fingered wave before leaving my bedroom. Seconds later, I heard the front door slam shut.

I sighed, waiting until my nerves had calmed down before going in search of Jace. I needed to set this straight: what had happened between us was nothing, it was gone. Though in my heart, I wasn't so sure.

* * *

 **So, we've got a bit of Clace in this chapter. Next one's about "Bonding Time". Things could take a turn... ;)**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	4. Bonding Time

"Jace!" I called out, walking into each room and checking to see if he was in each one. The... moment between us needed to be sorted out, and as soon as possible so I could calm down properly. Right now, my heart was pounding with – I didn't know what. He was Val's soon-to-be-husband for God's sake, there was nothing I should be feeling for him!

As I neared the bathroom, I heard sounds of running water and realised he was taking a shower. How long he'd been in there, I didn't know, so I just hung around in my bedroom, drawing roses, and leaves, each one bloodier than the one before. The same mesmerising image each time.

When the water stopped running, I stopped drawing, listening out for Jace. Nothing; that was odd. I opened the door carefully, peering around the corner. The bathroom door was ajar, a familiar tanned hand reaching out to grab the towel before closing again. I bit my lip, heading into the kitchen to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

When it was done, I smacked my lips together, reaching out to take a bite...

"That smells heavenly. You make another one?" Damn that British accent.

"Sorry, no." I forced my voice to remain steady, strong. I could smell the scent of mango shower gel on him, the hint of sweat that made my head spin. I didn't realise what was happening before he leaned down and took a huge bite out of the sandwich, grinning at me. "Oh my god, that's gross!" I dropped the sandwich back on the plate with a loud sigh, folding my arms.

"Does this mean I can have it?" Jace smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, there's no way _I'm_ eating it now." He laughed but didn't make a move to take it. We sat there in an awkward silence before I was brave enough to break it. "Look, about what happened earlier..." Jace nodded, golden eyes piercing through my green ones.

"Yeah?" I swallowed.

"Let's just forget about it, okay? For both our sakes." He paused before nodding again.

"So, bonding time?" I blanched then snorted, remembering our conversation from that morning, while he'd been keeping the remote captive from me.

"I guess. What do you want to do?" Jace cocked his head to the side like a bird, assessing me.

"I don't mind, really. As long as it doesn't involve ducks." I scoffed, eyeing him curiously.

"Ducks?"

He nodded firmly, his lips quirking up at the corners, "Yep. Traumatic childhood experience. Long story short, never trust a duck." I laughed.

"Okay then, no ducks. How about watching something? Like, _The Flash,_ or _Gotham..."_

" _Gotham._ I love that show."

"Same! That's settled then." We walked into the living room, sitting down on the sofa, as I flipped all the way back to Season 1, where the young David Mazouz lived in his mansion. I didn't know how many episodes we were going to watch, but knowing _Gotham_ and its addicting storyline, I'd say we'd be here for most of the day at the least.

Curling my legs up alongside me, I looked over to Jace who was staring intently at the screen, hands clasped behind his neck. A naughty thought crossed my mind about his hands, about where else he could put them, and I flushed red immediately, cursing my inner thoughts. Jesus, what was this guy doing to my head...?

The hours passed bit by bit, Jace and me occasionally laughing or gasping at something said by one of the characters. I don't how it happened, but we'd been unconsciously moving closer towards each other, until my head was just resting on his shoulder, his chin brushing the top of my head. It filled me with a warm, fuzzy feeling that made my heart skip a beat.

Jace clearly didn't notice though, too engrossed in the TV to even realise what position we were currently in but I swear his hand brushed through my hair once or twice. Maybe he wasn't aware he was doing it. Just when the episode about the Scarecrow and his crazy dad finished, the credits rolling up, the front door opened with a bang and Val started talking.

"Oh my god, you wouldn't believe the queues in H&M! Like, it was unbelievable..." Jace and I sprang apart instantly, wide-eyed, as Val walked into the room. She smiled at us, seemingly happy at the sight of us not swearing at each other, "Oh, are you guys getting along alright?"

Jace cleared his throat, not meeting my eyes, "Just fine and dandy." I fought the urge of blushing, unable to get the thought of me and Jace cuddling close on the sofa out of my head. Holy shit, we'd been cuddling... would things have gone further if Val hadn't come home in time? I wished and dreaded to think.

"That's great! What were you watching?" She flopped down between us on the sofa, blue eyes sparkling, her bags of shopping left near the doorway.

" _Gotham."_ The word felt like they'd been stuck in my throat and it took a lot of effort to push it out. Val made a face.

"Ugh, that show's so _boring_ half the time... I mean, it's DC comics, it's bound to be crap!" Jace frowned, but didn't comment, wrapping an arm around Val's shoulder. It stung to see him touch her like that so intimately but then I reminded myself sternly: _She's his fiancée, Heaven forbid, of course he'd touch her like that!_

She leaned into him, a blissful look on her face and I turned numb on the inside, horrified at the jealousy, the envy I was feeling towards my own sister right now.

Val smiled, completely oblivious to the awkward situation, "Well, let's watch something else... say _Coronation Street?_ " I sighed, getting up quickly.

"And _that's_ my cue to leave." Val rolled her eyes, her brown braid resting delicately on her shoulder. Of course Jace would love my sister: she was beautiful, talented, and simply... Val. I was Clary, her younger sister, with carrot red hair and annoying freckles, and weird drawing obsessions. Sometimes, I wondered if we were even related, we were so different. I was always going to be second-best to Val. Always.

"Oh, c'mon Clary! Can't you suck it up just this once? I know you hate it-"

"'Hate it' is an understatement." I winked half-heartedly, "Have fun without me!" She laughed, before getting the remote to swap channels. I felt the burning of eyes on my back as I went to exit the room, and sure enough, when I turned around, Jace was staring right at me.

I swallowed nervously, getting lost in their golden depths. Then I looked at my sister, smiling brightly as she held the remote, her hand resting on Jace's affectionately, the diamond ring shining in the light. I couldn't do this to her, it wouldn't be fair and it would break her heart. I couldn't do that to Val.

I bit my lip, turning my back on Jace and leaving the room, heading straight to mine and slamming the door shut. When did things get so freaking complicated?

Grabbing my pencil and my pad, I started a new drawing, one of a lion. My heart was beating fast as I drew the wide-spaced amber eyes, narrowed slightly. Then the golden mane, rich honey-like strands like fine gold thread, until I realised I wasn't drawing a lion at all...

Jace gazed at me from the page, those tawny eyes making my skin heat up, make my heart nearly burst out of my chest. The memory was still fresh in my mind; his breath stirring the hairs on the top of my head. An idle thought swam into my head and refused to go away – what if I turned my head just slightly, so my lips were a mere few centimetres away from his?

I blushed furiously; it was these kinds of thoughts that would get me into trouble. Jace and Val were engaged, they _loved_ each other. I would have to be most selfish person in the world to try and get in the way of their relationship!

I gulped, crumpling the page into a ball and chucking into the bin, unable to look at those eyes any more. Starting on a new page, I traced the lines of a heart, the traditional Valentine shape, but with scars and bruises obscuring it. Smudging along the way with my thumb, I sketched plasters and bandages stuck haphazardly on it. No matter how many remedies it took, the heart still remained broken.

I let out a long sigh. It was no use denying the obvious: I was crushing on my sister's fiancé. Hard.

God help me.

* * *

 **Clary's finally admitted it! To be honest, she's lasted much longer than I would've - who else is stubborn enough to resist the charms of Jace Herondale? ;)**

 **Did you like this chapter? Live up to your expectations?**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	5. Temptation on Google Images

"Clary?" I looked up from my book to see Val looking at me expectantly, "So you'll come?"

"Uh..." It took everything I had to not look behind Val where Jace sat, before my heart started thumping like a herd of elephants. I was paranoid to think that everyone could somehow hear it, "To where exactly?"

Val huffed, "Don't you ever listen Clary? Jeez, I said Mum invited us over to her and Dad's house because they want to meet Jace. Do you want to come or not?" I flushed red at her raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sure, Val..." My sister sighed dramatically and Jace's face remained neutral though there was a certain hardness to his eyes that made me wonder what he was thinking.

"Christ, Clary, can't you at least come to this?"

"Val." Jace cut in, "If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go." His tone was mild enough, but the words were abrupt.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry Clary, that was harsh." I cleared my throat.

"I'll go, it's okay." Val clapped her hands together, a big smile spreading across her face.

"Yay! Let me go pack!" She winked, before skipping into her bedroom. Jace and I sat in awkward silence, before I got out my sketchpad and pencil, and started a drawing of a waterfall.

"Clary-" _Don't look up. Keep drawing._

"Just don't. Don't talk to me." Jace sighed, before walking over. I gulped as he sat next to me, leaning over to look at my drawing. I could feel the sweat running down my neck in a disgusting, sluggish-like way. "Jace, what do you think you're doing?" My voice had gone breathless and high-pitched. I was being so pathetic, acting like a bloody schoolgirl with a crush.

"What? Suddenly its a crime to sit down?" He retorted. "I just wanted to see if you were telling the truth about that drawing – if you could draw, that's all."

"And?" I couldn't help looking up to catch that sexy smirk on his face.

"I can see that you were right." I chuckled, and then Val came back into the room. I clamped my lips shut, somehow feeling it was wrong to laugh at that moment.

"Are we ready to go?" She smiled brightly, her hair now done in a high ponytail. My messy curls hanging around my face felt uglier than ever.

"Sure thing, babe." Jace got up and picked up his keys from the table, "My car or yours?"

"How about yours for a change? My one's heaving its last breaths." I followed them out of the flat and into a sleek, black convertible. Jace and Val sat in front, and I sat in the back as the useless third wheel. It felt horrible, let me tell you that. Jace jiggled the keys in the ignition and we drove off.

My favourite song _Demons_ by Imagine Dragons came on, and I lost myself in the bliss of it, "Yes, I love this song..."

Jace laughed, "Same, actually." I looked up in surprise to meet his golden eyes in the rear view mirror.

Sure enough when the chorus came on, we both sang it together, " _When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide."_ We both laughed and then I saw Val frowning and shut up quick.

"Really, you guys? That song's so... dark and gloomy."

"It's about protecting the ones you love!" I defended, "Protecting them from yourself. It's deep and meaningful."

"Or depressing and lonely." Val corrected, examining her nails. Jace pursed his lips together.

"Depends on how you look at it, I guess." He met my gaze in the rear view mirror again, and winked. I blushed, avoiding his eyes. Val reached over and turned the song off, changing it to another station. The song was some random pop mix, but Val seemed to like it, humming the tune under her breath.

I slumped down, uninterested, and stole a look at Jace who was probably just as bored as I was, but was at least trying to hide it. Val made a sound of disgust, "Oh my god, my eye-shadow is like, lopsided! I look like a bloody scarecrow!"

I rolled my eyes. Knowing Val, it couldn't be that bad. She was a neat freak, panicking about every little thing. Jace lazily spun the steering wheel, "You want me to pull over or something?"

Val got out her make-up bag, fishing out a tube of lipstick, "Yeah, that would be great. Just by these public toilets?" Jace drove over and parked outside. Val leaned over, kissing him a quick peck on the lips before getting out of the car. It stung to see them kiss and a deep longing overwhelmed me as I tried to drown it out.

"So..." Jace turned around, and I was captured in his golden gaze, "You're a fan of Imagine Dragons?"

I nodded eagerly, "Totally. I love the message in the songs; they're awesome!"

Jace smiled and my heart skipped a beat, "If something didn't have any meaning, what's the point?"

Before I could answer, Val opened the car door and got back inside, face fully made up, "Okay, let's get back on the road!"

We drove off again, and I grew more and more uncomfortable when I met Jace's eyes in the rear view mirror more than once. Why did I keep looking? Or more importantly, why did he?

Biting my lip, I turned towards the window, catching snatches of Val and Jace's conversation.

"... your agent? I've tried a number of modelling companies and-"

"Val, I don't know... Hodge doesn't like me giving out his number, even for future clients..."

I stifled a snort. Looks like Val was trying to weasel for a modelling job. I'd only just remembered Jace was a male model. My train of thought grew, and against my better judgement, I took out my phone, going onto Google Images. I strained my ears to hear more of the conversation.

"What was it called again?"

"Val, leave it for now-"

"Just the name, Jace? Please?"

"Idris Elite. Alright, Garroway?"

 _Yes!_ The devil on my shoulder was jumping up and down with excitement as I typed in the words 'Idris Elite Jace Herondale' into the search engine, with the angel biting her nails fretfully in the corner. This wasn't a good idea, this wasn't like me at all... but the temptation was too great.

The images loaded before I could change my mind and they appeared on the screen and _oh my afafajsbfahbf._ I gaped, staring at pictures of Jace that I had no right to stare at. _Holy shit..._ this should really be illegal, it really should. There he was wearing a dark blue tee and jeans, giving a sexy smirk to the camera. Again, this time done in black and white, wearing a hot leather jacket and winking. Dear god, I think my heart just stopped.

I dared to scroll down and my eyes widened. There Jace stood, leaning against a wall, shirtless with ripped jeans. His face was utterly serious and his golden eyes blazed. My heart thumped, and I gazed, feeling my knees go weak. _Goodbye my fellow ovaries..._

This was insane. I was practically drooling at pics of my sister's fiancé. This wasn't right, like at all.

"Clary, are you alright back there?" The sound of Val's voice nearly made me drop my phone.

"Um, sure." I stuttered, swallowing as I turned my phone off, slipping it back in my pocket.

"You want a song on the station? You can have your pick this time." Jace offered, and I bit my lip. I would never be able to look at him the same way again. Had Val seen those pictures on Google? She probably had, and swooped in to snatch him up before anyone else could.

"I'm alright." I managed to say, and turned back towards the window.

If my crush on Jace had been small before, it was practically the size of Mount Everest now.

* * *

 **XD Hope you liked Clary gawking over Jace's modelling pics ;) Next chapter will be meeting the family. Will Clary be able to hold in her attraction for Jace below the surface or will it slip out? And those pictures are still on her phone. What would happen if someone were to find them...?**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	6. How to Make a Proper Cup of English Tea

We all got out of the car, after parking outside me and Val's parents' house. Jace locked the car with a click, slipping his keys into his pocket, before putting an affectionate arm around Val. I swallowed, walking just behind them as we knocked the door.

Mum answered it, her bright, green eyes lighting up when she us, "Hello girls! So nice to see you! And this must be Jace Herondale..." She turned to him, and I watched as she assessed him. I had to give it to him for holding eye contact with her while she scrutinised; I always had to look away.

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs Garroway." Jace responded in his crisp, Birtish accent and Mum raised her eyebrows at Val who blushed. Her love for the Brits was known throughout the family. Mum smiled at him, seemingly approved, and we all went inside.

She gave me a hug when I passed her, whispering in my ear, "How is he Clary? I doubt your sister won't be bias about the question." I plastered on a fake smile.

"He's alright, Mum, really." She nodded, before following me into the living room. Jace and Dad were doing that weird man-hug, and Val's bright smile was almost blinding as she watched them. Usually, our parents responded negatively to a new suitor of hers, but Jace seemed to be an exception. He _definitely_ was with me and I flushed red at the thought.

We all sat down; Jace and Val sitting on one sofa together, Mum and Dad on the other, and me on the armchair. I felt truly alone in that room, the only person not happily in love, and it hurt more than it should've done.

"So," Dad began, clearing his throat, "Jace, I understand you're a model, that being your job?" Jace sat up straighter.

"Yes, Mr Garroway, I-"

"Call me Luke." Dad smiled warmly at Jace. If that wasn't a good sign of acceptance, I didn't know what was.

"Thank you, Luke. I'm employed by Hodge Starkweather, who runs Idris Elite. I used to work mostly full-time, but since I've come to stay with Val-" she linked her hand with his, gazing up at him as Jace smiled at her, "- I've been given a small break."

Mum chuckled, "Well, not to be abrupt, but I can see why you're a model, Jace."

Val's cheeks flared pink as she whisper-shouted, "Mum!"

Jace just laughed, "It's okay; thank you Mrs Garroway." Mum beamed – yep, he'd scored with both of them, the charming devil.

"How old are you Jace?" Dad asked.

"I'm 25." Dad nodded, probably glad that Jace was a suitable age. Let's just say Val had once upon a time been a cougar, as well as messing around with men twice her age. There'd been Drew, a handsome fifteen year old, and Keegan, a man of 38. To be honest, I'd never seen the attraction in dating a much older man but Val seemed to know, "They're just so... intimidating."

"Intimidating? What's hot about that?" I'd questioned, bewildered.

"It just is." She'd simply said, giving me that mysterious wink, meant to be a substitute for the rest of the conversation.

Back to the present, I focused on the current conversation at hand.

"And you come from England I assume...?"

"Yes. I left to go to college here, to just travel. I love travelling." He added as an afterthought, his expression turning wistful.

"Have you been anywhere else apart from America?" I asked without a thought and instantly started to regret it as everyone turned to me, surprised, as if they'd forgotten I'd been there at all.

Jace recovered first, grinning right at me, "Only a few places. America's definitely the best so far though." There was an emotion reflected in his golden eyes that I couldn't pinpoint but maybe I was reading into things too much, just like I'd been doing a lot lately.

"So how did you meet Val?" Mum wondered.

"Oh, I found her commenting on my Instagram page, and then decided to check out hers and..." Val leaned into his shoulder, "... and we fell in love over the matter of a few weeks."

Dad smiled, and Mum made an 'awe' face. I scratched my arm in agitation. They were in love... I'd known that all this time, they were engaged to each other after all, but when said out in the open, it became all that more real.

The rest of the conversation consisted of Mum and Dad asking Jace numerous questions, with Val snuggling into him as time passed. I remained silent, pretending to be busy on my phone. I'd deleted the google images page, and deleted the data from my history but the pictures were still fresh in my mind.

"Clary?" Mum suddenly asked, "Would you and put the kettle on? I'm really fancying a cup of tea. Anyone else?" There was a chorus of agreement and I nodded, heading into the kitchen.

I got to work, putting on the kettle and watching as the steam rose, drawing little doodles in the foggy window panes. Little hearts with arrows, small birds flying, a gothic style 's'...

"Need any help?" I jumped, turning around to see Jace leaning against the cupboard, smirking. My heart pattered and I forced it to steady.

"I'm alright, actually. Thanks for volunteering though." He didn't go out and just walked towards me.

"Come on, Red. Let me help." I gripped the windowsill with sweaty hands, swallowing before speaking.

"Okay then." I relented and he grinned. I went to check the kettle but he pushed me gently out of the way.

"Let the Brit show you how to make a proper cup of English Tea." I laughed.

"Alright then, Blondie. Give it your best shot!" He chuckled, getting to work. I sat down on the counter top, watching as he made the tea. It was comfortable at first, with us both singing the tune of 'Radioactive' together. Then when he bent down to get the sugar from one of the lower cupboards, all I could think about was how perfect his ass looked in those jeans.

Noticing I'd stopped singing, Jace turned around and met my gaze. His golden eyes darkened and an electric heat in the room made my heart beat faster.

"Clary..." His voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat.

"Um, I think the tea's ready..." I stammered, breathless, as I glued my eyes to the floor. I gasped as I felt warm fingers tilt my chin, forcing me to look up into his eyes. His breath fanned across my jaw and I sat transfixed, eyes wide, "Jace, what are you-" Then his touch and breath were gone, as he moved sharply away from me.

"I don't know! I don't know what the hell's wrong with me right now, I don't know what's going through my head..." he backed away, running his hands through his hair. He wouldn't look at me. We stayed like that for a while, startled when the kettle released a shrill cry.

"I'll get it." I whispered, trying not to brush against him as I walked to the kettle, silencing the loud noise. In the end, I made the tea, pressing the teabags against the side of the mugs and stirring in the milk and sugar. I felt Jace's eyes on me from time to time, but whenever I looked up, he never was.

I struggled to get the cups onto the tray and Jace said, "Here, I'll help." We both tensed as our hands briefly touched in the passing of the tray. He held it as I placed the mugs on it, remaining silent.

I couldn't stand it any more. "Jace, whatever happened back there-"

"Don't talk about it. It was nothing." He said abruptly, and with that, he walked back into the living room, the tray in hand. I followed in his wake, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. I would not cry. I would not.

 _It was nothing:_ that's what he'd said. And the sooner I accepted that, the better.

* * *

 **So, did you like this chapter?**

 **To the people who wanted Clary to have a model photo-shoot with Jace, I'll keep that idea in mind but it won't be for a while if I decided to include it. Also to oesteffel: who said it was unrequited? ;)**

 **It seems that a lot of people want a Jace POV, to see if he feels the same way as Clary. Well, we'll see...**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	7. The Perfect Distraction

The ride back home was as uncomfortable as hell, with a blissfully ignorant Val completely oblivious to the elephant in the car.

"I'm so glad that they liked you!" she gushed to Jace, an innocent smile spreading across her face. She turned around in her seat to look back at me, "Aren't you Clary?"

I cleared my throat, nodding as earnestly as I could, "Oh, yeah, so great." It was quite a miracle actually. In the past, the other suitors hadn't been given much of a chance, with Mum and Dad refusing to even let them in the door. It appeared Jace had weaselled his way into the family as easily as anything. Everyone was letting the guard down with him, mesmerised by his annoyingly handsome model smile. I wasn't even sure who I was any more, because of him.

Jace said, "It was wonderful to meet them Val." I scowled internally when Val gave him a simpering smile, giggling like a little girl. His words from earlier cut me to the core: _"Don't talk about it. It was nothing." He said abruptly, and with that, he walked back into the living room, the tray in hand._

I was over the tears now, the upset – all that was left now was anger. _He'd_ made a move on _me._ Well almost. Practically. I'd done absolutely nothing to give him any ideas and the next thing I knew, he was millimetres away from my face, his breath fanning across my jaw... feather-light...

Get a grip, Clary! He'd tried to kiss me, then had the nerve to block me out! Shouldn't I be one doing the blocking, and him the one being ashamed? Well, I had been admiring a certain asset of his at the time... so? It was innocent, it wasn't _implying_ anything. At least I didn't think it did. Clearly, Jace had took it as a hint, and tried to follow up on it.

 _Had it been? Had I been hinting at how much I wanted him in that moment? Did... did he know what I felt?_

Hopefully, he didn't. But now, we were both walking on rocky ground. I doubted he would even look at me now with nothing else but disgust. He was a very engaged man, aside from the fact that his fiancée was my _sister,_ and yet I was still pining after him. I was screwed in the head, and now Jace and me both knew it.

In that moment, I knew I needed a distraction, anything, to stop me from seeing those golden eyes every time I closed my eyes. To stop daydreaming after a guy who could be mine. _A distraction._ But what?

"So..." Val began, looking at Jace expectantly, "Do you want to go out tonight, babe? Like for dinner or-"

"Maybe, I guess. What do you fancy?" Val twirled a strand of her glossy, brown hair around her finger, her blue eyes wide and beautiful like a doe's. I liked to think my emerald eyes were my best feature, but Val had a tendency to knock even them without even knowing it.

"I don't really mind. Just something nice." That's when it came to me – the perfect distraction. "Clary, we should be home before midnight but if not-"

"Actually, I'm going out tonight Val." She turned in her seat to stare at me.

"You're going out?" She said incredulously as if I'd just said I was going to parade naked down the casino. I couldn't really blame her; I wasn't one for social gatherings, like at all. But I was determined to change that. I caught Jace's narrowed eyes in the rear view mirror, and it was starting to bruise my confidence. "Where?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't know. Maybe Pandemonium." Now Val's jaw hit the floor.

"Pandemonium?" She repeated, and if she'd been drinking something at the time, she probably would've done a spit-take. "Clary, you can't be serious?"

Pandemonium was one of the best known nightclubs in America, famous for all the wrong reasons – or right, depending on how you looked at it. You went there for either a good time, or if you were a serial killer. Yeah, I could understand why Val was so gob smacked at the idea of me going to a place like that.

"I'm deadly serious." I held my head high for extra measure, "So yeah, I won't be home."

"Don't you have to be, like sixteen and over to get into that place?" Jace pondered aloud. I glared at him.

"I'm _twenty."_ I stressed on the words strongly, but my anger only seemed to arouse his amusement as a giant grin broke across his face.

"Oh, forgive me. My mistake." Oh, I was so ready to kill him. Val didn't seem to notice the promise of future death in my eyes.

"Are you sure, Clary? I mean, it's not exactly your scene..." I scoffed.

"Perfectly sure, Val. You don't need to worry."

And that was how I'd ended up walking along the road to Pandemonium at half past nine, shivering in my coat.

Val had insisted I dress appropriately for the occasion, throwing various fabrics at me, as well numerous tubes of lip gloss, liner and pots of eye-shadow. The end result wasn't bad in the slightest; Val owned some amazing outfits, being the beauty queen she was. Luckily, her old clothes were just my size.

I wore a short, sexy black dress that a neckline that plunged a bit too much for my liking, but Val said it looked "to die for, darling!" She'd brushed my hair into wavy ringlets that ran down my back and applied smoky eye-shadow that I would've killed for to know how to do. Next, she recommended some nude lip gloss, saying my hair and eyes gave me all the colour I needed.

Val pretended to wipe a tear from her eye, putting on a choked-up voice, "Oh, my baby sister all glammed up for a night! You've grown up so much!" I rolled my eyes but laughed, hugging her. She was the best sister ever, and the guilt that I'd nearly made out with her fiancé came bubbling back to the surface.

"Here, try on these!" Val handed me some strap on heels that looked to be a good six inches high.

"How am I supposed to walk in these?" I stared at them. My sister chuckled.

"Just stuff the ends with socks if they don't fit. And about walking," she leaned consiprationally, whispering in my ear, "If you stagger, just pretend you're a ravished maiden from the cover of a romance novel. Or drunk." I laughed as she winked at me, trying them on.

They were alright and I stuck my hands out in front of me to steady myself.

"I feel like I'm walking along the edge of a cliff!"

"Just walk! One foot in front of the other..." I followed her directions, taking tentative steps to the living room. Even with heels on, Val was still taller than me and that was extremely annoying. I was hoping it would give me the height I'd longed after. "Jace, come and look at Clary! She's looks amazing, doesn't she?"

Oh crap. Like hell I wanted his opinion! "Um, I think I should go... it's already getting dark..." I made a move for the door but my damn heels let Val catch up easily, placing a restricting hand on my shoulder.

"Don't be daft, Clary! Come on Jace, she needs to go soon!" I clenched my jaw, watching as I heard Jace come out of the kitchen, hands in his pockets, looking disinterested. When he saw me, his eyes widened.

"She's... she's going out like that?" He stammered, looking me up and down, from my smoky-rimmed eyes to my bare legs. My face grew hot and I instantly felt slutty in the outfit, embarrassed Jace had seen me in it...

"Of course she is!" Val argued, her manicured fingernails digging into my shoulders, "She looks stunning, _doesn't she?"_ Jace opened his mouth and closed it like a goldfish, and I couldn't meet his gaze. I could sense Val getting angry at Jace for not backing her up, "Ignore him, Clary. You're going to break some hearts tonight looking like this, I promise."

Steering me towards the door, she gave a quick pat on the back, "Jace and I are going to dinner so if we're not back before you, the key's under the door mat. Okay?"

"Um, yeah. Okay." I could barely form a sentence.

"Good." I must've looked worried because she said, "You're going to be fine." Right before she shut me out of the flat.

Now, I saw Pandemonium in sight, luring just ahead. The thought crossed my mind that I didn't have to go in if I didn't want to, just hang out in some park or something for the next few hours. _Yeah right._

This was my chance for a distraction, and distractions didn't get any better than this, right? Blocking out all negative thoughts, I walked up to the door, knocking on it as confidently as I could. Could a knock even be confident? The bouncer opened the door, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow. He had black hair with a vibrant red streak going through it and a ring going through his ear.

"Name?"

"Clary Garroway."

He sniffed, holding a hand, palm up.

"Oh! Right, sorry..." I handed over the cash. He stepped aside and I walked in. Music drummed into my ears, flashing strobe lights nearly blinded me and the intoxicating smell of drugs and drinks filled the air. I was drowning in it all as I made my way over to the bar, attempting to find a stool and sit there for the evening. Wasn't much of a plan, but it was all I had right now. Elbowing dancing bodies out of the way as best as I could, I sat down, already breathless. This was going to be a long night.

After ten minutes, I was already dying to go home, back to the comfort of the flat. I'd had a few drinks for the sake of it, but they'd only me feel worse, making my head spin and heart race. The bartender was checking me out, sneaking glances at my legs when he thought I wasn't looking. I crossed my legs self-consciously, but it only seemed to peak his interest. I wasn't after _that_ kind of distraction... was I?

Jace's wide-eyed gaze came back to me, the way he'd stared at my legs similarly to how the bartender was now. But... no, he was just appalled. Disgusted at me wearing such an outfit. However, this kind of get-up was expected here, and the guy was currently enjoying it. Not subtly, I might add.

"Hey," he suddenly said, and I jumped in surprise. A devious grin spread across his face, "Scared you there, did I?"

I flushed red, and said, "Maybe." He chuckled, getting a glass and wiping it with a dish cloth. He wasn't bad looking, I reasoned, with black hair, dark eyes, the muscle screaming against his shirt. In fact, he looked almost familiar...

"What's your name then, Red?" My mind flicked back to Jace of its own accord. _"You never saw anything, Blondie." He laughed as I threw everything back into the larder, quietly closing the door._

 _"Got it, Red." I snorted, turning around to see his smirk that seemed to be his trademark, and a pair of glimmering, golden eyes._ I shook my head internally. _You need to stop thinking about him!_

"Clary." I said, a smile teasing at my lips as the guy grinned again. I found myself leaning forward, resting my chin on my hands, "What's yours?"

"Easy now, love, we just met." I laughed and so did the guy, "It's Sebastian." Sebastian... somewhere in my memory, I'd heard that name before... but where...? "I don't think I've seen you around here before..."

"Oh, this is my first time." I answered his unspoken question. He raised his eyebrows, smirking slightly.

"What made you decide to come to Pandemonium?" Sebastian watched me carefully, and I suddenly noticed he was standing much closer to me than he had been a few seconds ago.

"I don't really know..." I locked my eyes on his dark ones, "For a good time?" _Okay, where had that come from?! It must be the drinks I'd had earlier..._

"Oh really?" Sebastian licked his lips, "Then maybe I could show you." Goosebumps broke out across my skin at the promise in his words, the lust shining in his eyes. But they were goosebumps of longing, not fear. I was done hiding in the shadow of my sister, done being the good girl that stayed in the flat at night, waiting for her to come back from late night activities. This time, she would wait up for _me!_

"Bring it." I whispered, lips stretching into a sultry smile. Sebastian grinned, latching his hand on my wrist and guiding me around the counter. My heart pattered in my chest, and a sliver of hesitation cut through. _What was I doing?_ Sebastian pulled me towards him, flush against his chest. _This wasn't me... what the hell was I doing...?_

His lips crushed against mine, and we kissed in a passionate, hot mess, his hands squeezing my hips. My own trailed to his chest, running over his hard, corded muscle uncertainly at first before mischievously exploring other areas. Sebastian growled, tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth as I moaned into his mouth, shivering as I felt his hand sliding over my thighs.

Closing my eyes, I could almost imagining it was Jace making me so breathless in this moment but when I opened them, I saw not gold but black orbs glimmering at me. Sebastian stopped kissing me, making a hot path down my neck as I gasped.

"Sebastian..." I whispered breathlessly, gripping onto his shoulders, "Sebastian, I need to go..." He stopped his sexy assault to stare at me, his cheeks flushed pink, his black hair sticking up wildly.

"Huh?" He asked incredulously, "But I thought that we would-"

"I'm not that kind of girl." I cut him off abruptly. I'd wanted a distraction but _that_ was something else entirely. I would not have my V-card taken on a night fling. I couldn't blame him for thinking we would, seeing as how I'd so excitedly followed him behind the counter. This place was practically getting-laid central. "Sorry."

I stood up and he followed suit, watching as I straightened out my dress. The club started to spin then, a beautiful swirl of colour and noise. Sebastian caught me as I staggered and fell into his arms, "Clary, are you okay?"

"Um..." I struggled to answer, "Everything's spinning, like on a carousel... is that normal?" Sebastian laughed, taking me gently by the arm.

"As normal as it gets," he chuckled, leading me out the back door, to outside. A taxi rank was there and he shouted, "Hey taxi guy! Help this girl get home, okay?" I blinked my eyes, peering at the night sky.

"Sebastian?" He looked down at me curiously.

"Yeah Red?" I winced at the nickname, it reminding me too much of something, some _one,_ though I couldn't remember who.

"When can I... like, see you?" He grinned, brushing my cheek lightly with his hand. _Feather-light..._

"I'm the bartender." was all he said and as he winked, the taxi driver came over, helping him help me get into the car. The driver asked me if I could give him my address and I did as best as I could, hoping that I was clear enough.

Luckily, we drove up outside the block of flats, the driver helping me out the car and up to the main door. I pressed on the number of our flat. Val answered, "Clary, that you?"

"Um... yeah... I need a bit of help..."

"Oh! We're coming right down, don't worry!" She came barrelling down the stairs soon after, Jace in tow, and gasped when she saw me, "Oh Clary... thank you." she said to the driver who nodded before driving away.

The cold air hit me, and bile rose in my throat, "I'm... I'm go-" I vomited into the bushes, while Val gathered my hair away from my face.

"It's alright Clare-bear, we'll get you upstairs in bed soon, okay?" When I'd finished being sick, she turned to Jace, "Could you carry her into the lift? I don't think she can make it."

"Oh, yeah sure." I felt warm arms wrap around my waist before lifting me off the ground. I envisioned angel wings keeping me safe, and leaned into them, finally at home... I yawned before everything drifted to black.

* * *

 **Did you guys like the introduction of Sebastian in The Worst Betrayal? He becomes very important later on in the story, so you'll definitely be seeing him very soon... ;) Also, can you guess why Clary found him so familiar?**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	8. The Perks of a Hangover

**Hello everyone; I'm back from the dead and ready to write! XD**

 **So, the summer was pretty hectic for me and I found myself stressing to write my stories, as well as worrying about getting them out on time. Then, someone said to me, "Quit slaving away at that damn keyboard and enjoy the summer while it's still here!" I decided to follow their genius advice, so I'm sorry for anyone who was wondering if I was okay. Thank you for your concern, you caring angels out there :)**

 **For anyone who's pissed about being back in school, we'll endure the suffering together – it's going to be hell, but we'll get through it! About the updating schedule, I'll get back on track next week, but for the mean time I'll try updating each of my stories until then.**

 **Love you guys for sticking with me!**

* * *

I woke up with a searing headache and a sour taste in the back of my throat. I groaned, raking my hands roughly through my hair, digging them into my scalp. The lingering smell of alcohol filled my lungs and I coughed, sitting up slowly. Memories from last night came back in a flood, the rushing images making me groan.

A club... strobe lights and the warmth of colliding bodies, a hand holding a dish rag as it cleaned out a glass. The same hand squeezing my hips, pressing against the small of my back, setting my skin on fire, their dancing fingers across my skin the sparks setting off the inferno.

" _I'm the bartender..."_ That deep, sultry voice sent tingles down my spine and my vision finally cleared as I sat up, coughing. Val strode in, a concerned look on her face as she sat on the bed.

"Clary, you ok?" I nodded numbly, a jolt going through me as she placed a hand on my forehead, feeling ice-cold against the intense heat of my skin. "You've got a fever. Looks like getting drunk doesn't suit you." When I nodded, she gave me a small laugh, ruffling my hair like I was a little kid.

"So, how did last night go?" I swallowed, wondering if I should tell her or not. Val was my sister and she would probably be happy for me.

"It was... hot." A grin broke out across her face.

"You can give me the details later." She winked, "I'm going to phone Mum up to get the recipe for that herbal tea she used to make us when we were younger. Hang in there, Red." I bit my lip as she left the room, wringing my hands in my lap. The first thought that came to mind was Jace, the memory of his arms around me going through my mind.

And then there was Sebastian - a dark mystery compared to Jace's golden irresistibility. Sebastian's hands on me behind the bar, Jace's hot breath fanning across my jaw. They both make my heart beat faster, made me feel more alive than I'd ever felt. But Jace could never be fully mine, no matter how much I wanted him to be. And Sebastian could.

I could faintly hear Val talking on the phone, noting down the ingredients for the herbal potion. Then, a hesitant knock sounded on the door. It was impossible to not know who it was, and I gathered the duvet around me hurriedly, covering up my exposed skin as best as I could. "You can come in." I said, my eyes locked on the door as it opened, a painfully familiar tanned hand coming into view.

Jace closed the door behind me with a soft click, turning to face me with a smirk on his face, "Just came in to check on the poor invalid." I rolled my eyes, plastering a smile on my face.

"She's doing alright. Hopefully will make it through the day." He snorted, but the teasing expression fell from his face, replaced with a fierce seriousness. It sent a shiver down my spine, and I trembled just slightly under the weight of his gaze.

"You got drunk?" Shame filled me though I didn't know why. Jace probably got drunk himself when he was out late, so why should it be wrong if I did?

"Had a few shots here and there I guess." He cocked his head to the side, his hair holding a metallic gleam in the light. "It felt good at the time but now..." I laid back my head, closing my eyes, "I don't think I can quite match up." I heard him chuckle.

"That sort of night does that to you." My eyes shot open and I stared at him. He was lounging against the wall, smirking at me. I didn't need to ponder over what he meant – the suggestive tone in his voice was enough. The gorgeous bastard.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He smiled innocently at me but I could see the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Nothing, nothing at all." He opened the door, making his way out before he turned back round, meeting my fiery gaze, "Not to me anyway. I'm not the one getting all hot and bothered." I narrowed my eyes as he winked, shutting the door behind him. Was he suggesting that he thought I got laid last night? Was that the kind of a girl he thought I was?

I sat there in fuming silence, the sheets bunching up in my fists as I fought back an aching headache. Ugh, why did I care what he thought? Val came in then, holding a mug with both hands, steam drifting from it.

"Here it is. Careful, it's a bit hot." I took it from her gratefully, sipping delicately. It smelled of rosemary and something powerfully spicy. "Speaking of hot things... last night?"

I looked up to see her bright blue eyes sparkling, intrigued. Laughing, I put down the mug, sitting up a bit straighter, "Well, at first it was a bit weird but then I took some shots and-"

"And you got completely sloshed?" Val waggled her eyebrows and I snorted.

"Something like that."

"Some _one_ like that maybe?" I blushed and she leaned forward, "Come on baby sis. Tell meee!"

"He was kind of the bartender. We started talking and then, yeah."

"You had sex?" I nearly choked on the herbal tea.

"No! We just kissed and stuff. Not _that."_ She chuckled.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry for assuming." Sitting back against my headboard, she wiped my cheek, her finger coming away dusted in smoky powder. "Looks like it was pretty rough. You look like a panda." I flushed as she laughed, tentatively feeling my face, my messy hair.

"Well, we were behind a counter. Not that much room to – you know." Val grinned.

"Oh yeah, I _know._ " Drinking up the last of the tea, I placed it on the bedside table. "What's his name?"

"Sebastian... something." I thought hard, realising he hadn't told me his second name. "Tattoos, dark hair..."

"Sounds nice." My sister squeezed my shoulder, "Looks like you grabbed a good one, Clary." I rolled my eyes, unable to resist the small smile that spread across my face. It felt like me and Val were on the same league now, finally equal. Finally I didn't feel as inexperienced anymore – far from Val's standard but not too far. At least not as far as I had been before.

"Can I get up now?" I whined, making a move to stand up. My sister shook her head firmly, setting me back down.

"Not a chance. You look like you're about to collapse any minute." I rolled my eyes. _All because of a few damn drinks. Well.. a bit more than a few, but still!_

"So what am I supposed to do? Watch my poor excuse for a life go by?" Val got up, heading to the door.

"Just stay in bed, okay? I'm concerned, Clary. Which is why I'm heading over to the pharmacy to get something. Jace is here, so call him if you need anything." Alarm bells went off in my head. No freaking way was I being alone with him again. That boy wasn't healthy for me. At all.

"Can't you stay with me Val?" I pleaded, jutting my bottom lip out in what I hoped was a pitiful pout. She sighed.

"Are you suggesting Jace go out? Guys don't have a clue what to get when it comes to medicine. Trust me, you're probably end up dying if you take whatever he gets off the shelf." No, not happening...

"Then he can go too!" I say desperately, "He can drive you up there, can't he? Makes it easier for you." Val frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly into light blue slits.

" _I_ can drive up there perfectly fine on my own, Clary." The way she was looking at me made me feel like I'd done something wrong and she was figuring out what it was. "I'm starting to think this isn't do with the fact that you want me here."

I bit my lip, internally cursing how transparent I was.

"What's up with you and Jace?" I couldn't meet her eyes, convinced she would see the full truth reflected in my own.

"Um... well we don't get along that well, that's all." To my relief, Val took the bait and ate it up, her expression turning to one of sympathy.

"Oh, Clary. I thought you guys were like, Gotham buddies?" My mind instantly flashed back to the feel of Jace's fingers stroking through my hair, his chin brushing along the top of my head. Well, the first part could've been a figment of my own crazy imagination – I wouldn't put it past me.

"That doesn't mean anything." I lay back against the pillows, "Just because we like the same tv series, doesn't make us automatically best friends." Val didn't even bother continuing the argument.

"Just hang in there, then. I'll be back soon." I felt like yelling after her as she closed the door, just to make her stay a little bit longer. Just for the sake of it. Hearing the front door shut a few minutes later, I listened out for noises in the flat.

It sounded like Jace was pacing around in the kitchen, running water from the taps and then a small crash. I grinned against the pillow as I heard him swear. Trust him to go ahead and break something when washing up. After about half an hour, the boredom started setting in, and I became restless. What did ill people do to entertain themselves? And where the hell was Val?

Getting out of bed, I crept to my bedroom door, faintly hearing the buzz of the tv. Having a snack from the kitchen would be _something_ to do, but that depended on if I got caught. Val had probably told Jace to not let me out of my room, being the strict and concerned sister she was. Slipping into undercover spy mode, I opened the door a crack, wincing at the loud creak it made.

 _So much for being discreet._ I didn't hear Jace move from the sofa though, so he mustn't have heard me. Holding my breath, I stepped out into the hallway, my feet padding on the carpet as I made my way to the kitchen.

The larder seemed to sing as I walked up to it, my hand curling around the knob...

"And here I was thinking you had to stay _in bed._ Is the cupboard more comfortable for you?" I sagged in defeat, letting my hand slip away.

"Shut up." I snapped, my cheeks burning as I whipped around to face him. Jace's eyes were glowing with unconcealed amusement, a teasing smile tugging at his lips, "You can stop being a watch dog. I'm perfectly capable of walking." He raised his eyebrows, folding his arms as he leant against the fridge.

"From the way Val described it, she thought you were going to drop dead any minute. I think you should-" He stopped as I ignored him, turning back around to get my snack that I'd come for. Nothing, not even Jace Herondale, was going to get in the way of me and my Jaffa Cakes. No one.

"So," I said conversationally, turning back to face him, "How did your dinner go with my sister?" He blanched. Whatever he'd thought I was going to say, it wasn't that.

"Um... it was, fine I guess." I chewed thoughtfully, and he stared back at me. Almost looking... guilty. I frowned.

"You guess?" Jace straightened.

"It was great. Fantastic." It was like we were in a staring contest, each other vying for the other to break away first. I was far too stubborn for that, unfortunately for Jace's case. "How did your night go then?"

I smirked, "Amazing, thank you for asking." His smile was tight, his golden eyes searching my green ones.

"Oh yeah?" I nudged the larder door shut with my shoulder, never breaking from his gaze. His lips kicked up at the corners, daring me to elaborate. And, like an idiot, I did.

"Yeah. I met this guy – Sebastian." For some reason, I wanted to tell Jace this, just to see how he would react. If he would care. So far, he was just smiling, an annoying, infuriating one that made me want to punch him right in the face. "We hung out and stuff."

The blonde just grinned, "Stuff?" I opened my mouth to reply but stopped short. This was ridiculous; why did I feel the need to tell Jace about my personal life?

"Wouldn't you like to know." And with that, I sauntered out of the kitchen, smiling triumphantly. I was learning how to get over Jace Herondale's charms one step at a time, and pretty soon I would hopefully be over him completely.

I thought of a pair of glimmering black eyes and made myself a promise. Tonight, I was going back to Pandemonium and just maybe, a certain bartender would be waiting to pour me a drink.

And with each sip, the golden eyes that lurked in the back of my mind would eventually be chased away.

* * *

 **Sebastian will be in the next chapter I promise! So, what do you guys think of Jace's discomfort to talk about his little date with Val?**

 **All will be relieved soon...**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	9. My Valentine

"Just hang in there, then. I'll be back soon." Val left quickly, wincing in guilt as she closed the door between her and her sister. If she'd stayed a second longer, she knew she wouldn't have been able to say no to Clary: those big green eyes of hers got her whatever she wanted without even having even having to blink them. Val could still remember that Clary was always the favourite child to their parents, especially their dad, who practically melted every time she asked for something, "Please, Daddy." He was powerless by the time she looked up at him, her green gaze sparkling and irresistible.

Sighing, Val walked back into the kitchen, grabbing the list off the counter top and stuffing it into her jacket pocket. She'd managed to scrawl down all the recommendations their mum had suggested over the phone that Clary should take after a severe hangover and Val wanted to make sure she considered every one of them. Clary's well being was her top priority right now, even though her wedding would be taking place in the next couple of months.

 _Her wedding._

It would be, like she'd told herself a few times in her life, perfect. Valentina Garroway wouldn't settle for anything less. A big white affair, set in a grand church that had towering spires and angel statues and beautifully sculpted pews and-

"Going so soon, love?" Val was pulled out of her reverie by her fiance's voice, calling to her from the doorway. She turned around with a ready smile to see Jace, leaning against the door frame, his smile just as sure as hers. They were the kind of smiles called up by photographers about to take a picture: well practiced for the moment.

"Seems so. Clary's really ill, poor thing. I thought it would be a good idea to head out and grab her a few things." Jace nodded, his lazy gaze wandering over to the door of Clary's room down the hallway and then back to her again.

"Ok then. Want me to go with you or-"

"No, I'm fine, really. I'll be gone twenty minutes tops." _Why did everyone in this damn house want Jace to go with me to the pharmacy? God, him and Clary must really not be getting along at all._ Val bit her lip, conflicted between her sister and future husband. Why couldn't they just play friends and make everything so much easier? She knew it wasn't fair to expect that of Clary, what with the many guys she'd forced into their lives before but _still._

"Alright. I'll look after her while you're gone." Val beamed at him gratefully for being cooperative, shrugging on her jacket as she walked over to him, giving him a quick kiss as she passed. Then, she remembered something from the night before and turned back to him.

"Oh my gosh, I completely forgot! Are you ok after last night?" Jace stared at her in confusion, his eyebrows drawing together.

"Huh?" Now it was Val's turn to look confused.

"You know, you said you said felt ill at the restaurant yesterday so we left early? Completely slipped my mind with all the chaos that came afterwards."

Jace's eyes lit up with realisation and he nodded vigorously, "Oh yeah, yeah. I don't know, it was just that kind of 'off' day I guess." Val pursed her lips, thinking back to the date they'd had. She'd had an amazing time herself, enjoying the sophistication of the place they'd chosen, with the serene water sculpture set by the window that took her breath away. There were beautiful red roses set in a glass vase on their table, the flame of the candles dancing to the tune of a piano playing in the background. Utterly perfect, just the way she liked it. And as she looked over to her equally perfect fiance, his hair shining gold in the romantic low-light… He'd looked distracted, she remembered, his gaze weary and full of - not pain, just… broken. Val had immediately been concerned, asking if he was okay, to which he'd replied he'd feel better back at the apartment. That's when they'd left.

"You sure? Want me to get you anything while I'm at the pharmacy?" Her fiance shook his head, the amber flecks in his tawny eyes catching the light.

"No, I promise I'm good as new, Val. Thanks for your concern though." He smirked and she laughed, her heart fluttering at the sight of him. Jace Herondale had got to be one of the most gorgeous guys she'd ever come across before and a twinge of pride grew in her heart that _she'd_ been the one he'd chosen to settle down with. They were meant to be.

And with that, Val left, shutting the door behind her and walking down the pathway. She considered driving but then reasoned it would be close to pointless, what with the pharmacy a mere five minutes away. Besides, any amount of exercise she could fit into her busy schedule was valued - if that modelling job she'd set her heart on would be open to her, she wanted to make sure her body was in shape. A few minutes later, she was walking through the automatic doors of the pharmacy, giving the woman at the desk a small smile. Now, time to browse...

Val looked under the shelf for headache medicines, picking up some painkillers and a few other bottles of things she thought looked suitable. Just as she was about to approach the till, a deep voice called to her, "Hey my Valentine." _Only one person had ever called me that._ She swallowed, turning around to face the guy that made the devil look positively charming.

"Sebastian." She gritted her teeth at his mischievous grin, resisting the urge to punch him in the face. God, this bastard had given her grief and now she was remembering it all over again. In an exaggeratedly polite tone she said, "Darling, I thought you'd moved away. So incredibly sad, but I've managed to carry on without you, don't worry." The sarcasm was practically dripping from her voice. He chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sure you have." The suggestive tone in his voice made her flush red with embarrassment and anger. _Who was he to judge me? Shit, my relationships are tame compared to his! The cheating, fucking disgusting, shitty, dick-_ "Who's your most recent victim then?" Val glared daggers at him but he didn't back down in the slightest. If anything, his grin grew wider.

"Shut up, you d-" Val caught the eye of the alarmed shopkeeper and caught herself just in time. She intended to be the mature one in this god-forsaken conversation if it killed her. "-idiot. As a matter of fact, I'm engaged to be married." The diamond on her finger glinted as she showed it to him. His dark eyes regarded it as if it wasn't a surprise at all. Those dark eyes were completely black, and Val remembered a time when their mystery had turned her on. Now, they just disgusted her.

"Of course you got engaged while I was gone. I'd be shocked if you hadn't, to be honest." He leaned arrogantly against the shelves, folding his muscular arms against his chest. Her eyes followed the tattooed patterns that ran along them: black spirals, alchemy symbols and deep quotes. Ugh, she gagged at the thought of when they'd first met and she'd thought he'd been so _mysteriously attractive_ and _soulful_ with all those ink designs. "Planned it all out perfectly I assume."

"As long as you're not there, it will be." Val said sweetly, "If only you could move to Timbuktu and then it would be flawless."

"What a shame." Sebastian raised his eyebrow, "Now, if you don't mind, could you move out of the way? You're standing in front of the shelf I need to get to." Val huffed, stepping to the side though it made her seethe to do what he said. _Dick._ Their relationship was one of her most horrific: she'd been lured in by his darkly beautiful face - though it killed her to admit it - and the alluring way he spoke. It had been a one night stand turned steamy relationship, bittersweet and massively satisfying. If he hadn't cheated on her, Val thought it probably would've lasted. Then he became an unbearable asshole when she'd confronted him, saying some unspeakable things about a few of her previous relationships. The two had parted ways with bad blood, and when Val found out he'd left the city she'd been ecstatic. Now he was back, and the perfect world she'd built for herself was going to shatter.

Val hands curled into fists to contain her hate towards the guy in front of her, who was currently skimming through the labelled bottles on the shelf. It had been the same one she'd been looking at: headache relief and such. "Had a hectic night?" His shoulders shook as he laughed, and Val couldn't help but admire how much fitter he'd got since she'd last seen him - nearly two years ago now. The muscle defined his back well and she could only imagine how the rest of him must look.. _What the fuck? No. Just. No._

"Well, some good ol' making out is worth a flipping hangover any day." She snorted.

"Oh god, the poor girl will probably get an STD now!" He turned around to glare at her and she smiled back triumphantly. _Finally managed to piss him off!_

"We didn't 'do it' if that's what you're thinking. She said she wasn't that kind of girl."

"Aw, does rejection hurt Sebby?" He grinned, picking out a bottle and standing to full height.

"I like to think of it as a challenge. So no, it doesn't. I haven't stooped to your level just yet sweetheart." _He did not just say that._ In that moment, she didn't care whether the shopkeeper saw or not. This bastard needed some respect knocked into him, and Val wouldn't mind being the one to do it. With all his stupid tattoos and dark hair and-

 _"Sebastian... something." Clary paused, as if stopping to think, "Tattoos, dark hair..."_

No freaking way.

 _"You had sex?" Clary nearly choked on the tea I'd made her._

 _"No! We just kissed and stuff. Not that." I laughed._

"Oh. My. God." Val said aloud, "Please no..." Sebastian stared at her, a glimmer of concern in his eyes though he couldn't really care, in her opinion.

"Um, Val you all-"

"You made out with my _sister."_ She spat, and his eyes grew wide, "Well, let me tell you something, _sweetheart._ You're not going to break her heart like you did to me, I won't let you. If you go near her again, I swear to god you won't like it." He appeared frozen, and Val shoved past him to get to the counter. The shopkeeper's eyes were as wide as his, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered now, except getting home as fast as possible and confronting Clary. She had to warn her to be sensible and stay away from him. Val wouldn't let her little sister go through the same pain she had had to.

When she turned around, Sebastian was in exactly the same place as he had been before. Good, she'd put him some shocking common sense into him. Val held her head high, prepared to saunter out of the pharmacy proudly when he said something that stopped her in her tracks.

"What makes you think I'm just going to go along with everything you say if you make a few idle threats like that? Playing dirty just isn't you, Valentina." She whipped around to see him smirking at her, dark eyes alight with the promise of trouble.

"You'd be incredibly stupid if you approached Clary again. Stay the hell _away."_ He chuckled, turning his back on her to pay for the medicine. When he had, he brushed past her to exit but not before whispering in her ear for only her to hear:

"Make sure to tell Clary she's a _much_ better kisser than her older sister, will you?" Without waiting for an answer, Sebastian left, leaving a fuming Val behind.

 _That. Fucking. Bastard._

* * *

 **So, after 4 months I've finally updated! I literally feel so bad for not updating for so long and leaving you guys waiting :( Hopefully, this chapter makes up for it and you liked it! I thought it would be fun to do a little Val POV and see where it went. The connection with Sebastian has been revealed as well as Val and Jace's little date. To the people that were wandering why Val was taking so long: here ya go ;)**

 **I promise to update within a week and if I don't, feel free to spam me with a million 'UPDATE NOW' comments and PMs. Maybe _then_ I'll learn to keep up on my goddamn schedule! XD**

 **Just a little side note: who has watched Hunger Games Mocking jay part 2? I want to see it so bad and the amazing trailers are killing me! Maybe I'll get to see it before Christmas. *fingers crossed***

 **Love ya! ~InfernoAlive**


	10. What I Want Most

It was official - staring at a plain, white wall drove you to madness. Don't believe me? Try doing it yourself, just thinking about the huge problems of your life: of the blonde supermodel fiance of your sister who you were hopelessly crushing on in the room right next to you; of your piercing headache and piercing memories that came along with it; of your stupid, _stupid_ choices you'd been making the past couple of goddamn weeks; of your…

God, my life was driving me to madness more than anything. Everything was just _so_ frustratingly crazy and out of my control. I hated that more than anything - being completely powerless to my feelings and the deep shit they put me in. Groaning, I fell back against my bed, the headboard creaking under my weight as I let out a loud sigh. _Ugh, let the hours be quick so I can head over to Pandemonium and see Sebastian again._ An unexpected thrill awoke in my heart at the idea of seeing that sexy smile behind that counter, the rich smell of alcohol wafting through the air that made me feel so _alive._

Slowly rotting away in my bedroom couldn't really compare to that feeling I was yearning for now and it made me frustrated and really pissed. "You know what? Fuck resting!" I sprang up from the bed and trudged out of my room, into the lounge preparing to watch tv.

Jace cleared his throat loudly as I collapsed into the armchair next to his, snatching the remote from the table, "Finding a new passion in dramatics, are we?"

I rolled my eyes, searching through channels for something I felt like watching. A small burst of pride erupted in my chest at how normal I was acting around Jace. His nearness still caused my heart to skip a beat but I was keeping it all under the surface, carefully composed. It made me cringe at how obvious I'd been before, turning into a stuttering tomato every time he spoke. _It was one sexy British accent though… I'm only human!_ "I'm aloud to be dramatic. Locked up in this flat is driving me insane!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise his eyebrows but give no comment. It annoyed me for some reason, so I spoke again to keep the silence at bay, "There's nothing decent on at midday. Just crappy filler shows like…" I frowned, reading the title with amusement, "'A Day in the Life of Walter Scott: Surgery.' Gee, that sounds enlightening."

Nothing. Not even a chuckle which part of me had been hoping for. I looked over to see Jace staring off into space, the faraway look in his eyes something I could relate to immensely. I was a daydreamer, getting easily lost in thought at the drop of a hat. Jace looked pained though, a few frown lines creasing his forehead, his lips pulled into a thin line of concentration.

"Er - you alright Blondie?" When he didn't answer, I prompted, "Jace?" He straightened up instantly, golden eyes becoming brighter with focus; the frown lines slowly receded.

"Yeah?" He said quickly. I cocked my head to the side as I looked at him, concerned.

"Everything okay? You were looking a bit-"

Before I could say anything else, the front door opened with a bang and Val's shouts of profanity could be heard, "Absolute dickhead! I swear to god, if I ever see him again…" Jace and I gave each other alarmed looks, both of us wondering just which dickhead my sister had run into at the humble pharmacy. _Knowing Val, it was probably some poor guy wearing stripes. Val hates stripes, especially blue ones. God help the sorry soul if he decided to wear his favorite blue and white stripy jumper in Val's presence._

She came barreling into the living room, dropping the carrier bags carelessly on the floor at her feet. Her usually straight brown hair was wild and messy, not quite dropping to my standard but not reaching hers either. It looked like Val had rushed home, desperate to get back as soon as possible for some reason. There was even a stray leaf caught in her gold chain necklace. Her panicked eyes landed on me and stayed there, a thousand emotions flashing in their sky blue depths. I grew uncomfortable as she continued to stare, not even sparing Jace a glance who sat there, looking at his future wife with confusion and concern.

For the second time in three minutes, I asked the same question, "Everything ok, Val?" At my words, she seemed to unfreeze, raking a hand through her hair as she paced.

"No, no everything's not ok! I can't believe you would stoop that low, Clary!" I tensed, dread rising in my throat. Did she… Did she somehow know that Jace and I had nearly kissed at our parents' house? I dared not look over to him, in case I made my betrayal more obvious. Oh god…

"Val, I-" She interrupted me, her tone firm.

"Well it wasn't your fault, was it? You couldn't have possibly known who he was and he _apparently_ didn't know who you were either. That scumbag, snaking his way through my family and stirring shit! I fucking hate him!" My eyes widened: she shouldn't be talking about Jace like that. I had to explain that it _was_ my fault, I was fully to blame for pining after a guy who was already taken. _I_ was stirring shit, Val should hate _me…_

I opened my mouth but closed it abruptly, realization dawning. _You couldn't have possibly known who he was and he_ apparently _didn't know who you were either._ Jace and I knew who each other were, Val had introduced us after all. So who was she talking about…?

"Val, I don't understand-"

"The guy, Clary!" It appeared she wasn't going to let me take part in this conversation. "The fucking, dirty bastard of a guy at the bar in Pandemonium!" _Sebastian. She was upset over me and Sebastian._ I stared at her, seeing the anguish and hatred in her eyes that inflamed at the mention of him. Indignation flared in my chest at the names she was calling him, spitting them out like they were venom, like she was disgusted to even be talking about him. What right did Val have to talk about someone like that who she didn't even care to know?

"You can stop slagging him off right now!" I got up from the chair to glare at her, though it didn't help my intimidation factor what with her being much taller than I was. "Sebastian is an alright guy and hating him just for the fact that we made out and you don't like the idea of me having a relationship of my own isn't good enough!"

My sister laughed harshly, and it caused an uncomfortable twist to my stomach, " _Relationship?_ Clary, guys like him don't stick around for tedious things like relationships! When they've got what they wanted, they break your heart by leaving you for some other wanting girl, leaving you alone to pick up the pieces." Her words hit me like a slap, and I flinched as if she'd actually struck me.

Jace looked between us uncertainly, swallowing, "Girls, maybe you both can talk about this later after we've all calmed down and relaxed a bit-"

"No, not later. I'm settling this straight right now." Val took a step towards me, "You're not seeing him again, I'll tell you that _Clarissa._ Even if I have to keep you under house arrest and get mum and dad involved." The sound of my full first name sent a shiver down my spine coming from Val's mouth. She'd always called me Clary or Clare Bear or Red - cute nicknames used affectionately and to sometimes annoy me. Never Clarissa.

Angry tears welled in my eyes, " _No!_ You can't just make decisions for me because you think it's what's best for me! I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself and I will!"

Val's own eyes grew cloudy as she bit her lip, placing a hand gently on my shoulder. I shrugged it off abruptly and her features twisted with hurt. At that moment, I didn't care. "I know you are, Clary, I trust you to be." Her voice was softer, kinder as she were talking to a child; maybe that's all she saw me as. A stupid, pathetic, immature child. "But you don't get it. Sebastian is-"

"Since when do you get to judge what kind of person Sebastian is? You don't even know him!" She smiled at me sadly, and I paused, unsure.

"God I wish that were true. Imagining I never knew that asshole," seeing I was getting pissed, she quickly changed tact, "Anyway, I _do_ know Sebastian, on a very high level actually. Once upon a time, we were together." _I should've known._ Val had practically dated every guy up the street. And it would also explain why he'd looked so familiar to me - just another one of Val's failed relationships. I remembered feeling so proud and ecstatic as the bartender and I had kissed, finally thinking I was on "Val's league". Of course, I was nowhere near. I would always be her younger, worthless sister Clary, forever doomed to living with Val's hand-me-downs and never finding something truly mine.

My older sister continued, unbeknownst to the sadness slowly spreading through my body, the measure of my self-esteem dwindling to nothing. I felt like I was drowning in the sorrow, the self-pity and loathing. "We only planned for a one night stand but decided to try something a bit longer and more permanent. It didn't work out of course, after I found out he was a cheating manwhore, who seriously needed his pride shoved up his ass."

Jace snorted, and I jumped in surprise. In all the drama, I'd forgotten he was there. Val smirked, giving her fiancé a tender look before meeting my tear-dried gaze, "Clary, I'm not trying to be unfair with you, I'm really not. In fact, half the time I try to do things right and end up making shit worse than it was to begin with!"

When I laughed, a relieved smile broke out across her lovely face, a new light blazing in her eyes, "What I'm trying to say is, I don't want to see you get hurt like I did. I never want to see you like that." Her voice wobbled towards the end and a single tear slid down her cheek.

"Oh Val," I pulled her into a hug, keeping an equal tight hold as she did with me, as if we would never let each other go. "I promise I won't go near Sebastian again, not if it will make you upset."

"Thanks, Clare Bear," she sniffed, before finally pulling away, holding me at arm's length with a big smile. With her wet, blue eyes and face pink from crying, I realized with a pang that Val still looked stunningly beautiful, even at her worst. _She's perfect, her life's perfect, her future looks perfect. Everything as clear-cut as crystal._

Except me, the only thing not flawless in her radiant existence.

We both yelped in surprise when another pair of arms encircled us, forming yet another hug. Jace chuckled, a sound that vibrated through me as he held both of us, so close I could feel the beat of his heart. "Don't stop now! Nothing like a nice lot of sisterly affection!"

Val laughed, playfully hitting at his chest, "You ruined the moment, you idiot!" He grinned, catching her wrists in his strong hold, his golden eyes glinting mischievously. Her smile was breathless as she looked up at him, all playfulness gone and replaced with a wonderful adoration. It numbed me to the bone, watching them in such a special moment when they grew lost in each other's eyes and I was left with no one but myself.

Then Jace let go of her hands and turned to me, smiling. "Everyone fancy take-out?" I let out a shriek of excitement as did Val, forgetting the loneliness I'd felt at the promise of food.

"Oh my god, _yes!"_ Val grinned, "Chinese, Indian.."

"Pizza!" Jace and I suggested at the same time and we both laughed at our extreme enthusiasm. My sister giggled.

"Pizza it is then." An hour later, we were curled up on the sofa, Val in the middle of me and Jace, watching a film that Val had chosen: _Love Actually._ To be honest, I was too busy scoffing down the meat feast pizza we'd ordered to enjoy the film properly but my sister loved it, laughing and smiling.

Seeing her happy made me happy, and I cherished the two and a half hours we spent on that sofa, just enjoying the night, no worries invading the air. My mind wandered back to our fight, to how angry we'd both been to the tears shining in both our eyes as we'd hugged. My promise rang in my ears: _I promise I won't go near Sebastian again, not if it will make you upset._ At the time I'd meant it, not wanting Val to have to worry about me. But now…

The pepperonis tasted bitter in my mouth when I realized what I wanted. I yearned for what Val had, what she always had without even trying: perfection. I craved for a life without heartache, worries, fear; for confidence to look in a mirror and not shy away by what I saw; for someone to look at me like I was the most amazing thing they'd ever seen or ever would. _That_ was what I wanted most: a chance at love.

I wanted it enough to break a promise I'd made to my only sister.

Swallowing guiltily, I looked over to Val and her platinum smile before reminding myself sternly - this was _my_ life, _my_ choice. I should be able to decide what path I should take, what I truly desired in life. Taking a deep breath, I gobbled up another slice of pizza, trying to block out the discomfort worming through my stomach.

"Damn, Clary!" Val chuckled, looking down at the nearly empty pizza box, "No one's going to take it from you!" I gave her a weak smile, shrugging lightly though it felt jerkier than I'd intended.

"This pizza's really good!" She laughed as did Jace, who deftly leaned over to snatch the last slice. He smirked at my glare, gobbling it up quick before I could take it from him.

"Mm…" He smacked his lips loudly, exaggerating for my benefit, "God, that was truly a gift from the heavens. Shame, Clary. They say the last slice is always the best." I pretended to lunge at Jace, secretly thanking him for the distraction. We all laughed, before receding to silence to watch the rest of the movie. It was a comfortable silence, the three of us blissfully quiet and tired from the mega pizza-high. I leaned back, sighing in content, only to have more troubled thoughts cut through my comfort.

I was going against what Val wanted, lying to her. I pretended to brush it off like I didn't care, but deep down I did. Painfully so.

I was crushing on her fiancé, and now going after her ex.

Putting it that way, I sounded like the worst sister alive. Maybe I was.

* * *

 **So, here's another chapter! This one was hard for me to write actually, focusing on Clary's true feelings and trying to express them in detail. Not much of Clace but mostly sisterly bonding; I don't know, I kind of like it :)**

 **Who's looking forward to Shadowhunters?! I've seen all the trailers and sneak peeks tonnes of times and am so ready to watch it! Hopefully, they'll stick with it and go through the whole series - I'd loved to see Sebastian Morgenstern on screen! ;)**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	11. Bane's Bridal Dresses

Drawing was what I resorted to in times like this. When it felt like everything around me was falling to pieces, crumbling to nothing. When I felt utterly lost.

I found myself walking to my room, almost as if in a trance, and sitting down on the chair in front of my desk. My hand reached out for the worn down pencil, the other for my sketchpad. I could hear Jace and Val talking, make out the buzz of the tv as they watched some late-night show. Blocking it all out and taking a deep breath, I drew and drew and drew until the tv had been long ago switched off and Jace and my sister had gone to bed. My hand protested after a few hours but I was relentless, pouring out everything that I'd been bottling up for the past few weeks. All the pain. All the heartache. All the misery.

Every drawing I finished, I started another and again after that, until I was calm and the ache was so familiar in my grip that I didn't notice it anymore. Birds carrying broken hearts into the sunset turned to fields of poppies and sunflowers, rainbows arcing over the clear blue sky. A pair of holding hands breaking away from each other became a couple embracing at a wedding altar. Biting my lip in focus, I sketched another couple this time leaving the groom as a blank figure with the bride in perfect detail.

Her hair was a cascade of caramel-brown curls that was adorned with a droplets of pearls and clear gems. Her veil was thrown over her head, gliding down to the floor like a plume of sparkles. Her dress was purely white, lace flowers and hearts picked out in intricate beads and jewels across the bodice and skirt. Her face pictured the definition of ultimate joy, her bright blue eyes wide and loving and….

 _And just like Val's._

Finally stopping, I dropped the pencil and observed what I'd drawn. My sister, aglow and somehow incredibly alive in the moment when she'd be wed. She was breathtaking, even in sketch, and I knew come the day she'd be absolutely beautiful. My gaze turned to the empty figure that stood beside her, an outline bare of any colour or identity. _You know who it's going to be,_ I thought, swallowing hard, _You just don't want to believe it. You don't want to admit it._

I don't care. _You do._ I don't give a damn about any of it. _Oh, and you're not Clary Garroway either?_ With a frustrating sigh, I left the drawing on my desk before slumping into my bed, switching off the light. Quarreling thoughts argued in my head and it pounded from it all. That night, I went to sleep with a heavy weight on my heart.

…

"CLARY!"

I woke up with a start when a pillow hit me square in the face and I ended up falling off the bed. Blinking warily, I managed to focus on Val who was standing in front of me with a frown on her face, hands on her hips. _God, what have I done now?_

"What? If it's about the bin overflowing, that's not my fault. _Jace_ ordered the pizza and there was nowhere to put the box-" She interrupted me, a hint of a smile on her lips. A smile was good. A smile told me she wasn't about to go into vengeful King Kong mode.

"It's not about the damn bin." This time she laughed, but it was short. _Crap._ "This morning's important. We were going down to Bane's Bridal Dresses and I was going to pick out mine!"

"Wait, what?" I was so out of it, yawning as I got to my feet unsteadily.

"My _dress,_ Clary." Val said very slowly, "For… my… _wedding."_

"Ohhh…." I coughed awkwardly, "Well, why haven't you gone yet? It's," I looked at the digital clock on my bedside table. ".. just gone 11. Knowing you, I'd have thought you would've wanted to get there early."

Now she looked exasperated, raking a hand through her hair, a very uncommon gesture for my sister. _Wow, she must be really stressed out._ A twinge of guilt wormed in my gut. "I _did._ But you weren't showing any signs of getting up and Mum was meant to be coming down but she said she'd have to come later. Much, much later than I'd intended."

"I don't need to be there, Val. What use would I be anyway? Not exactly the best at what to wear." For an example, I pointed to my cookie monster onesie with a flourish. Val didn't spare it a glance, her eyes fixed on mine.

"That's not why I want you there. It's… I don't know, support. Someone to make me feel sane for once. I've been so messed up these past few weeks and I know you think I'm a natural at the whole wedding thing by now but…" She took a deep breath, pink flaring across her cheeks, "It doesn't get any easier. If anything, it's even more nerve-wracking." She folded her arms self-consciously against her chest, her lips pursed into a straight line. I hugged her instinctively, and her arms tightened around me as if I were her lifeline.

"Ok, I'll get ready pronto. Give me ten minutes." Val nodded, pulling away from me. With a laugh, I gestured to my eye, "No tears! You'll mess up your mascara." My sister gave me a small smile before leaving my room, the sound of her high heels clacking to the bathroom to reapply her makeup. _Ten minutes._ I could make that deadline.

Singing some random song under my breath, I ransacked my wardrobe for a pair of jeans and a hoodie, throwing them on whilst one-handedly straightening out the duvet on my bed. Then, I grabbed a brush and tried to tidy up my hair as best as I could. With a frustrated sigh, I gave up and pulled it into a messy ponytail, not bothering to see if it was off center or not. Five minutes later, I had my sneakers on and was shoving a slice of burnt toast in my mouth, chugging down a glass of orange juice at the same time.

It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't seen Jace all morning. _He must be out. Groom necessities or whatever._ Good thing too. Just the thought of him seeing me scoffing down my breakfast like some kind of wolverine made me cringe. I spotted my reflection in the glass and physically winced. Make that a wolverine junkie.

As if on cue, Val came waltzing into the kitchen, talking into her phone that was balancing precariously on her shoulder, "Yeah, I've just called and they said I could have an actual fitting if I got there within the hour…. Mum, please? … Well noon is too late! What could you possible be doing that's more-" she took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she thought. I noticed the worry lines puncturing her forehead and felt terrible for not noticing before. Val was really worked up about this. About all of it. "I'm sorry, Mum. It's fine, you can come whenever… Oh my god, thank you! Yeah, me and Clary will meet you there!" She ended the call with a tired smile, putting her phone back in her bag.

"Don't worry, Val. Everything will be just the way you want it when that day comes." She nodded, turning her gaze to me when her eyes widened. I tried to picture what she was seeing: her grungy-looking, crumb-spraying sister. Yeah, I wouldn't be exactly impressed either.

"Clary, um maybe you could…" Val gestured delicately with her hands, waving them around like a fairy godmother with her magic wand. "It's a bridal shop, you know? And we would be picking a few things for you and-"

I rolled my eyes, "I thought you wanted to be there early! So I rushed a bit." _Ok, a lot._

"Come on. Let me pick something out and at least make sure your hair's brushed!" I wasn't about to point out that I'd actually brushed it. Her expectations of me would sink even lower. Without complaint, I let her take me by the elbow to my room and sat down on my bed whilst she browsed through my wardrobe. Or, more appropriately, my own circle of hell. Compared to Val's, it wasn't much better than that.

She finally picked out some slightly newer jeans with fewer stains on them then others, and a tee that had _J'adore_ written in curly writing. My mind flashed back to when she's dressed me up for my first time at Pandemonium about a week ago. Val loved doing that and I couldn't help smiling at the memory of us dressing up as princesses as kids and how she'd placed the plastic tiara so carefully on my head. Even back then, she was a perfectionist.

With my back to her, I put the clothes on, just shrugging on the tee when she said, "Hey, when did you do this?" I turned around to see her holding up the drawing of her as a bride, the empty groom standing beside her. My cheeks flamed.

"Oh, like earlier on…" Her gaze returned to the drawing but I saw no suspicion in her eyes - just admiration.

"I love it. In fact, I'll take it to the bridal shop as a kind of inspiration. All the lace and pearls…" Val smiled, a genuine one filled with joy, and I found myself smiling too at seeing her so untroubled. "God, this is really happening. I'll actually be there, again, saying 'I do'." She gave the drawing one last dreamy look before folding it up and putting it in her bag.

"We on our way now?" I asked, and she paused before walking over. Her hand reached up to my hair and tugged on it gently so a single curl escaped the ponytail and hung beside my ear, swaying.

"Now we are." I laughed, following her out of the apartment and into her car, feeling as if I were glowing with happiness. Val turned on the radio and an upbeat song came on, both of us singing it at the top of her lungs before breaking down with laughter. It was about a 15 minute drive before we pulled up outside the bridal shop. It was the biggest place on the street, with mannequins flaunting beautiful gowns in the windows. The gold-edged double doors automatically opened as we approached and the sweet scent of lavender and jasmine hit us both as we walked inside.

"Wow, the wedding dresses are amazing here." I awed at the ones showcased around the building. Val nodded beside me.

"I got mine from me and Gabriel's wedding here." There was a moment when that troubling look returned in her eyes at the thought of her former husband. It quickly vanished when a man made his way over to us, his loud voice puncturing the air.

"Why, _hello_ again Mademoiselle Garroway. Tying the knot again are we?" He gave Val a kiss on both cheeks and she chuckled lightly. I was too busy being blinded. This guy was a rainbow in the shape of a person, wearing a flamboyant jacket and a tie with cartoon cats patterned all over it. His hair was jet black, a single streak of pink running through it and a layer of glitter dusting his olive skin. A large gold chain necklace hung around his neck, with a huge charm of a cat with sparkling emerald eyes. _This is having self-confidence. I wouldn't dare walk out of the apartment dressed like this._

"You're French?" I asked, bewildered for a second. He turned to me with a laugh and I became distracted by his glimmering hazel eyes framed by perfect winged eyeliner and silvery-purple eye shadow.

"Of course not, sweetheart! Just using French words makes me sound more suitable for running this shop than I actually am." He winked, holding out his hand, "Bane. Magnus Bane." I shook his hand, overwhelmed.

"Clary Garroway. I'm-"

"Valentina's sister. I could tell the minute I saw you. You both share the same nose." On instinct, I touched my nose tentatively before blushing in embarrassment when I saw the glimmer of amusement in his eyes, "Just darling. Come, follow me. When you called, Valentina, I immediately had a line of dresses pressed and ready for your trying. Of course, that perfect hourglass figure of yours is just splendid to work with! I've…"

I tuned out the rest of Magnus and Val's conversation, following them as we walked into a suite where, sure enough, a rack of dresses were waiting. Princess gowns, mermaid skirts… In each one, I knew Val would be beautiful.

With a theatrical clap of his hands, wine-red fingernails glinting in the light, Magnus called, "Aline! Miss Garroway is ready for her fitting!" An asian girl with stylish black hair came running in, helping Val out of her jacket and and hanging it on a small hook by the door. Then, carrying the armful of gowns in her arms, she lead my sister into a small changing room, leaving just me and Magnus. He sat down on one of the cream leather chairs so I followed suit, sinking into the seat as if it were a cloud.

Everything here was so elegant and clean and _pure_ that I was scared to touch anything in case I left any fingerprints. Set in front of the line of armchairs was a small stage - almost like a mini catwalk - for the bride to show off her dress. I could practically see Val already, strutting in a marvelous white gown, striking a pose, completely in her element. There was also a cream coffee table, with a vase that held intricate peacock feathers. The blue and green of them contrasted brightly with the white all around; it made me want to start a watercolour painting, a wash of turquoise and ivory, of sea and sand.

"So," Magnus leaned forward, grinning at me, "I presume you must be the maid of honor, being the bride's sister?"

I nodded quickly, "I guess so. Val said we'd probably be picking up a few things for me while we're here." He listed his head to the side and I caught a glimpse of his topaz earrings, set in a rim of gold. They sparkled like stars, and I was distracted by their gleam.

"For someone that has a sister that will be marrying within the next month, you don't seem that excited." I froze, wondering if I was betraying anything in the way I was acting. Did it come across that easily? Was I that transparent? Trying to school my feature into a mask of indifference, I paused, choosing my next words carefully.

"Why would you say that?" It was almost as if he knew I was trying to hide something. Magnus's smile was mysterious, otherworldly, and it set me on edge rather than comfort me.

"Just that you're rather… dim, almost. I saw it in you the minute I walked in. Compared to your sister, positively glowing, you were-"

"'Dim'? Like a broken light bulb?" He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Broken gives the impression of something that can't be fixed - that's permanent. Whatever your feeling, I doubt it's that hopeless." I laughed dryly, and his eyes narrowed in curiosity, his hand cupping his jaw. His demeanor reminded me of an inquisitive cat, bright eyes shining with secrets and untold stories. _Wow, now you're getting carried away. Stop getting distracted and pay attention!_

"You don't know what's going on. It's not something that can be forgiven-"

"So, you've done something that will upset someone else? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'll bet it's Valentina herself. Just a random guess though." It really wasn't and we both knew it. Before I could say anything back, Aline opened the door and Val walked in, holding the skirt of her dress in her hands to walk up the steps. She stood, smiling nervously at me, turning side to side in the mirror.

Magnus got to his feet, humming under his breath, "I believe this is part of our Angela Daveen collection. Very exquisite, hugging the hips just so… What do you think Valentina?" Val bit her lip, smoothing her hands over the bodice, arching her neck back. It was pretty: a high neckline with cute cap sleeves and a bodice sewn with silk. From the waist, the skirt belled out and drew close to her ankles, in a way that reminded me of a trumpet flower. Her expression turned to dislike. Clearly, my sister didn't want to go into her wedding looking like a plant.

"I don't know… it's not the one you know?" Magnus nodded, telling Aline to get the second one ready and whispering, "Try something similar to one she bought before, a mermaid I believe." But just before Val entered the changing room, she turned around with a bright smile.

"Oh, Clary drew this sketch of me in a wedding dress. It's in my bag. Maybe I could have something like that?" His penciled eyebrow rose as he looked at me before taking the piece of paper out of Val's handbag that hung on the hook. His frown receded when he looked at my drawing, nodding to himself. I felt a small burst of pride that the owner of a bridal shop would find my amateur sketch approving. I rarely drew clothes to begin with but then last night, I'd been upset, trying to get lost in the drawing. Immersed in it.

"This is good. Very delicate, very old-fashioned with the lace." He handed it to Aline, "I think we've got a few that incorporate some of those features. Try some of them." She nodded before she and Val went back into the changing room. I swallowed, turning my attention to the wall. But of course Magnus wouldn't just let it go. "I believe I won the jackpot?" I scoffed and I heard him chuckle.

"Whatever you want to call it, I guess."

"Now it's just the question of what you did that's apparently going to ruin her wedding." I turned to him, shocked.

"How'd you get _that?"_ Magnus shrugged, and the glitter on his skin shone a thousand different colours in the light.

"You're quite distressed about it. Clearly, it's not something mild. Not something that Val can forget about _with_ her wedding. Which leads me to think it might have something to _do_ with it." I gaped, before closing my mouth quick so I didn't look like a complete idiot.

"Calm down Sherlock. My problems aren't a murder mystery that need to be observed from every angle." He grinned.

"I like you. You're quite a spitfire." Before I could start spluttering, he added, "In a completely innocent way, don't worry. I've got a nice, healthy relationship. Well," he pouted, "Rocky, from time to time. Apparently it wasn't funny when I spray-painted the flat we share together with neon green and pink. Some people just don't have enough fashion sense in the world. Thankfully, I have enough for both of us." I smiled and just then, I heard Mum's voice.

"Clary, darling! Am I too late? Has she chosen?" I got up from the chair to run up and hug Mum, laughing softly.

"No, don't worry. The first one was a no go." She nodded, her long red hair flowing around her as she did. Magnus got up as well, holding out his hand.

"A pleasure to help your daughter with another wedding, Mrs Garroway." Mum beamed as she shook his hand, her green eyes sparkling like the ones on his cat pendant.

"Thank _you_ for helping Mr Bane. You've worked wonders before." Magnus bowed, chuckling proudly. Just then, Val came through, her head held high. She saw Mum and let out a little squeal, her smile reaching both ears.

"Mum, you made it!" Our mum laughed, sitting down in one of the cream chairs along with me and Magnus.

"Of course I did. I said I would, didn't I? Give us a twirl." Val obliged, stepping up onto the small stage and turning this way and that. I was awestruck. There was my sister, looking like she'd just walked out of a photo-shoot. The dress was gorgeous, with what Magnus called it a 'sweetheart neckline' and sleeveless. It was completely white, with lacy flowers forming a belt around the waist and lace trimming the bottom of the skirt. The back of the bodice was inspired by the style of a corset, silk ribbons fastening it closed. She looked like the beautiful princess in every Disney movie, featured on the cover of every romance novel.

"Val…" I whispered, and she looked at me, her eyes wide and glistening. The breath caught in my throat; her expression reflected my drawing perfectly: ultimate joy. Mum was speechless. With a flourish, Magnus stood.

"Aline, can you get one of the diamante veils? I think we all must see the finished result." Quickly, it was fetched, and the asian girl appeared behind Val, carefully draping it over her head and throwing it over her shoulders so her face could be seen.

Mum's hands went over her mouth, "Sweetheart, it's beautiful." Val nodded, a single tear running down her cheek. The veil was all we needed before Mum was asking for the price, insisting she put at least half of the price towards it when Val claimed she could pay for it herself. They agreed on half each and before I knew it the dress was paid for and put inside a clear zip-up bag and we received a complimentary pink rose. When Val was back in her normal clothes, she turned to me with a grin.

"Time for you to dress up now, Clare Bear." I cringed, imagining myself parading in dresses that I would surely ruin the look of.

"I don't need to, really. I saw some nice stuff on eBay and-"

"You are _not_ wearing some knockoff outfit off eBay at my wedding. Magnus, may we go the Bridesmaid section please?" I had no say whatsoever. Practically hauled off my feet and kidnapped. It got worse when I passed rack after rack of dresses, feeling sicker to my stomach by the minute. They were all so shiny, or barely covering anything, or bright or-

"These'll do just fine." Val handed a pile to Aline who tried to usher me into a changing room. I tried to hold my ground but my sister shoved me and the next thing I knew, Aline was pulling my t-shirt over my head. _Just go along with it. The more you struggle, the longer it'll go on for._

For Val's past weddings, I hadn't actually been fitted for a dress. Once I'd just worn Mum's dress for thanksgivings - a red and white polka dot thing that had been considered cute. This wedding appeared much more important than the others. Jace had definitely made an impression on our parents, which couldn't really be said for the others, and even I had to admit that my sister seemed much happier with Jace than she had been with anyone else.

Lost in thought, I didn't notice what Aline had put me in before I was told to walk out. With shaking legs, I did, coming to stand in front of Mum, Val and Magnus. I heard a sigh and looked up to see Val smiling, "Clary, it's gorgeous. _You're_ gorgeous." Mum nodded, clapping her hands and I blushed.

Looking in the floor-length mirror, I saw I was wearing an off the shoulder dress that was a pretty shade of light pink. A single silk rose was adorning the waist and the skirt flowed out to just below my knees. It was the most girly thing I'd ever worn and even I had to admit, it looked nice. Magnus stood, circling around me.

"Now, if we were to style her hair like so," I felt as his fingers brushed through my hair, pulling it out of the ponytail and arranging it all to one side so it went over my shoulder. "Since it's naturally curly, you wouldn't have to tong it which is handy. Aline, do we have the matching accessories there? Hand me one of those rose clips." When he had it, Magnus tucked the fabric flower behind my ear and stepped back, "Voila!"

Val stood up, clasping her hands together, "Perfect! We'll buy that as well!" Her and Mum walked over to the desk, credit cards ready to start making payments. Magnus remained with me, smiling gently.

"Now, there's a light bulb that's brightened." I couldn't but smile back, turning around in the mirror, thinking that for once, I actually looked almost _beautiful_ when a familiar voice cut into my reverie. A voice that shattered the shield I'd been hiding behind, leaving me naked of any mask.

"I know, the game last night was intense, like _damn_ …" Jace and a guy with black hair and blue eyes walked around the corner, coming closer and closer. The guy was holding two cups of Starbucks, and when Magnus noticed them, his smile grew wider. It was breathtaking how much could be seen in a smile. In Magnus's, I saw unbreakable love.

"Alec, you're back! Thank god, I thought I was going to collapse without that latte!" The guy - Alec - beamed, handing it to Magnus with a soft kiss on the cheek. It was adorable, and I couldn't help but feel envious of their love for each other. Then Jace suddenly looked up and his gaze landed straight on me. Unlike Magnus, I couldn't read what was in Jace's look. I never could.

His tawny eyes lit up and his lips parted as he stared. I watched him swallow, his voice almost raspy as he said, "C-Clary?"

"... yeah?" I couldn't move, as if I were trapped in his gaze, frozen completely. The breath caught in my throat and I felt like I was choking, fighting for air. Our almost kiss flashed in my mind, a painful reminder.

"You're… you-" Then, Magnus stepped forward, shaking his hand.

"Hello, I assume you're Valentina's fiance, Jace Herondale?" He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes from me to look at Magnus, nodding. "I'm Magnus Bane, owner of this fabulous bridal shop."

"Cool." He seemed incapable of saying anything else, and I watched as his eyes flicked back to me for a split second. It was a powerful moment, however small, and my heart nearly burst out of my chest. Magnus pursed his lips.

"You and Alec know each other?" Jace's shoulders relaxed and he shook his head.

"No, but I ran into him at Starbucks. Found that he'd moved here from Britain as well and we started talking from there." Alec nodded, sipping at his own latte. Magnus glanced at me and I tensed, unsure of what he was going to do or say.

"Well, your lovely bride-to-be is currently by the front desk so maybe you and Alec can have a chat over there?" Jace seemed grateful for the offered escape and he and Magnus's boyfriend started walking off. At Jace's retreating back, I sagged in relief, finally able to catch my breath.

"Well," I looked up at Magnus, who was grinning. "That's quite a big problem."

Playing dumb was my last tactic, "What is?"

His grin turned into a knowing smile as he said something so catastrophic so simply, "For starters? The fact that you and your sister's fiance seem to be completely and utterly in love with each other."

* * *

 **Hey guys! I'm so so sorry for the long wait - Christmas last year was so busy and hectic and starting school again wasn't exactly pleasant either :( From now, I should have more time for writing so the updates will be much more frequent.**

 **Shadowhunters: oh my god, I freaking loved it! Tbh, I was wary at first, wondering if it was going to promising at all and it was amazing! I like the changes they've made, unlike so many others apparently, who are saying how it's terrible because it's not following the book. Those people are forgetting it's an ADAPTION not an exact retelling. Also, basing the whole series on the pilot is kind of stupid, because every pilot for a brand new series is bound to be a bit rocky :/ My favorite characters so far are Alec, Simon and Jace - I thought those actors nailed their parts and Dom proved an excellent choice for Jace. I only think he'll get even better over time - bring on the sass :p**

 **Hope you liked the introduction of Alec and Magnus in the Worst Betrayal!**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	12. The Worst Betrayal

**So I'm back! *please don't kill me* I know it's been forever since I updated so I'm incredibly sorry for leaving you guys to wait so long. Hope this chapter makes up for it! x Shout outs to HumanBeing for the awesome fanfic title reference and ClaceAddict for making me eat my own words - I completely deserved it XD**

* * *

 _His grin turned into a knowing smile as he said something so catastrophic so simply, "For starters? The fact that you and your sister's fiance seem to be completely and utterly in love with each other."_

The world stopped. It was as if everything had stopped moving, except my own heart, pumping wildly from within my chest. I stared at Magnus, my eyes wide, before sinking into one of the cream armchairs, head in my hands.

"God, out loud it sounds even worse." I whispered, unable to hide the tremor in my voice. All my walls broke down and I desperately tried to swallow down the tears that were building up in my throat. His words ran through my mind, over and over again, like a haunting echo, taunting and heartbreaking… _you and your sister's fiance…_ I frowned, lifting up my head to meet his glittering gaze, "You were half right anyway."

Magnus raised one eyebrow, pursing his lips, "How so?"

I let out a chuckle, but it sounded as lively as a rotting corpse, "I'm the only one stupid enough to fall in love with the wrong person around here." I raked my shaking hands through my hair and caught on the rose clip behind my ear. Seething, I ripped it out and threw onto the floor. I couldn't care less about the ache going through my scalp. I deserved all the pain I got. "Of course it's me, isn't it? I'm so _stupid,_ so fucking _stupid_ , that I actually thought I could live with this. Live lying to my sister! Live lying to my fucking _self!"_

Angry tears slid down my cheeks and I wiped them away furiously, self-loathing rippling down my spine, through my head, like a virus. I felt Magnus's hand gently pat my shoulder, and I jumped, not having heard him come over. "No one can control when they fall in love or not, biscuit. It's one of the things about life." I gulped, breathing hard as I tried to make myself calm down. "And I can guarantee you, you're _not_ the only one beating yourself up about this." I looked at him in confusion.

"What? Who else…?" _No, he couldn't mean…_ "Jace isn't-"

"Love does make one go blind it seems." I gaped at Magnus, disbelief evident across my face. He gave me a knowing smile and comfortingly bumped his shoulder against mine. "Trust me, after that showdown ten minutes ago, it was obvious to anyone he is just as infatuated with you as you are with him."

I shook my head instantly, "What are you now, the love guru? Jace hates me, he's made it painfully obvious from the start…" _He has? Or have you just let yourself see that?_ I thought back to when we'd watched Gotham together, how I sworn he'd stroked my hair and I'd told myself I'd been imagining it. Then at my parents' house, when we'd come so close to kissing and he'd pulled away. _I couldn't stand it any more. "Jace, whatever happened back there-" "Don't talk about it. It was nothing." He said abruptly, and with that, he walked back into the living room, the tray in hand._

But had I completely forgotten how he'd been the one to pull me close, the adoring look in his eyes as he gazed at me, as if-

 _As if he loved me._

It was a look that I'd always dreamed of, wanting it more than anything else in the world. Had it been given to me without me even knowing it? Or was I still making up a fantasy for myself? Had I been doing that all along? If I had been, I was truly pathetic.

"Love guru or not, I know that look." He laughed, "Trust me, I've had lifetimes worth of relationships, it feels like. Experience teaches you what to look out for. And I found it in Alec." His voice softened when he said his boyfriend's name and I didn't doubt for a second that he loved him with all his heart.

"And you think me and Jace…" The words sounded wrong in my mouth, like I was saying a dirty secret.

"110%, gingersnap." I wrinkled my nose at the nickname and he winked at me. "You're both adorable, and I'd be proud to say I made it happen." I rolled my eyes.

"That doesn't make it _right._ In case it slipped your mind, he's _married._ " I paused when his expression didn't change, then added bluntly, "To my _sister."_ Magnus blinked, as if unsure as to why I was freaking out so much. I blinked back, wondering why the hell he didn't seem to understand.

"Well, I think we've already established that. Surely this makes it so much easier for you." I frowned, and he sighed loudly, waving his manicured hands dramatically in the air, "Don't you want your sister to find her happily ever after, or whatever?"

I nodded, wondering where he was going with this.

"Then let her find it. I happen to think you're both being incredibly cruel letting her marry someone that's no longer hers. If you truly love Valentina, you'd tell her the truth and then she'd be free to find real love. Otherwise her whole life with Jace would be a lie." I bit my lip, craning my head to see Val, Jace, Mum and Alec at the counter. My sister was talking to her fiancé animatedly, a glowing smile on her blushing face. I imagined telling her what I'd done, what we'd _both_ done, and seeing that smile fall from her face. Knowing I was the reason it had fallen.

"I can't, Magnus," I started, my mouth going dry, "She'd hate me, I know she would, and I wouldn't be able to cope with that-"

"But you can cope with this?" His words tore me apart, tugging me this way and that. Emotionally trying to tear the answer right out of me. I hated his all-knowing gaze, his matter-of-fact tone. Deep down, I knew he was trying to help me but in that moment of complete frustration I couldn't care. I wasn't just to going to let this shop owner waltz in and make me question my life, my choices! _I_ knew what was best for me and my family and it was going to stay that way!

"Thank you for the advice, _biscuit."_ I spat, getting to my feet, grabbing my pink skirt in both hands. "But I can sort this out on my own, without any input from you - from anyone!"

Magnus tutted, raking a hand through his pink streaked hair, "Clary, I know you're upset. You're stressed and a little bit of support is the one thing you really _need_ right now." I whirled around, meeting his eyes without any hesitation. I could tell from his raised eyebrows that my hardened resolve was unexpected. _Good. I needed to stop acting like a snivelling child and face this problem head-on. Stop this unbelievable yearning for Jace, the lying to my sister. If I put a stop to my feelings, everything would be all right._

"Thank you," I said again, my voice soft and barely a whisper, "But I'll deal with this on my own, Magnus. _Without_ breaking my sister's heart." Then, I turned back around and without waiting for a response, I walked into the changing room, slamming the door behind me.

In that closed, refined space, I felt like I could breathe normally again. Leaning forward, I braced my forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. _I can do this. I can push my feelings aside and put Val's first. I need to._

Yanking the pink dress over my head, I picked my own pile of clothes and put them on, feeling more at ease in my usual jeans and t-shirt. I found another clear zip-up bag in the corner of the small room and bundled my bridesmaid dress in it, surprisingly carefully. Then, I walked out of the changing room, coming face to face with everyone, who was outside waiting for me. Val frowned, taking the bag from me.

"I hope you haven't creased it, Clary. You were never gentle with clothes when we were younger." I smiled wryly, and Mum chuckled.

"It looks fine. It's not as if she's wearing it tomorrow, Valentina." Magnus cleared his throat and I found myself tensing as he met my gaze. But there was something in his eyes that was reassuring, that told me not to worry. He was going to keep my secret. _I hope so anyway._ Besides, his powerful stare was helping me ignore Jace, who stood right by him.

"Well, it was nice helping you once again with a marriage, Garroways. I hope I'll be receiving an invitation to the big, white wedding." Alec scoffed, elbowing him playfully.

"It wouldn't kill you to be a bit subtle, would it?" Magnus smirked at him, wrapping an arm around his side and pulling him close.

"Subtlety is my middle name, Alexander." His boyfriend just rolled his eyes, though he looked particularly pleased when Magnus pressed a light kiss to his cheek. Pulling away, Magnus turned to Jace, grinning, "My congratulations to you, as the groom of course. You're sure to make a certain girl very happy." The blonde blinked when the man winked at him, as if unsure of a secret joke. I was cringing on the inside.

Val laughed, "He sure will." She laced her fingers with Jace's, swinging their joined hands between them. Jace looked down at her, an uncertain smile tugging at his lips and I let myself think for a second that he might be unhappy, that he might want to be with someone else. _Maybe with-_

"Well, we best be going. Thank you so much, Mr Bane!" Mum called out, waving from the doorway.

Before Val, Jace and I could leave as well, Magnus declared, "Just remember: _trust_ is the key to any relationship!" Almost on instinct, I turned to look at Jace and found him staring right at me. What I wasn't prepared for was the flare of anger in his golden eyes, his jaw clenched. He looked ready to strangle me, and to be honest, I couldn't really blame him.

"Whatever," he muttered, and pulled Val out of the shop. Wincing, I swore under my breath.

"Subtlety, my ass." I hissed at Magnus, to which he just grinned, waving me out. Mum stood by her car, hugging Val goodbye. When I walked over, she pulled me into a hug as well.

"Bye, girls. Just a couple weeks now!" Val clapped her hands, jumping and down like a little girl outside a candy store. Mum smiled, before getting in her car and driving off. The minutes she did, I felt the burning of eyes on my back and tensed, feeling the rage in those eyes like a laser.

"Come on, let's get home." Jace grumbled, frowning behind the steering wheel. Val's eyebrows furrowed as she got into the passenger seat, and me in the back.

"Hey, you ok?" He started up the car, his knuckles white as he shoved the key into the ignition.

"Fantastic! Why'd you ask?" My sister's eyes narrowed at his harsh tone, her lips thinning out into a annoyed line.

"No reason. It's just that you look ready enough to tear a door down or something. Honey, what's happened?" At the nickname 'honey', Jace swallowed, his face going a bit pale. I froze, watching the scene unfold in silence. _This was my fault._ Whatever Jace was angry about, I was absolutely certain it involved yours truly.

"It's nothing, I'm just… tired." _Tired of me, more like._ Val bit her lip, concern passing over her face.

"You know, I could call Isabelle and say I can't come out today, if you want me to stay at home with you-"

"No! No, don't do that, Val." He gave her a weak smile. "I'll be fine." _Wait, Val was going out? Leaving me alone with Jace? Who was probably planning ways to kill me?!_ This wasn't good. At all.

"Ok then. Hey, you can drop me off here." I gulped as she reached over to give him a quick kiss. Then she turned to me, "Stop looking like a deer in headlights, Clare Bear! That dress was stunning on you!" I couldn't find the strength to call up a smile. The second she left the car, I felt the tension pressing down on my skin, suffocating me. Jace didn't say a word, and it was the most uncomfortable five minutes of my whole life. When we came to a stop outside the apartment, my feet felt like lead, barely holding together as I scrambled out of the car. Jace was standing there, glaring.

"Now you can tell me what the hell happened back there!"

I swallowed, "I don't know-"

"Don't give me that _bullshit!"_ He raked a hand through his blonde hair, closing his eyes as if he were in pain, "I know when someone's dropping hints and that wedding shop owner was just _dying_ to let me in on something. And I have a good feeling what it was about." When his eyes opened and fixed on mine, I nearly gasped at the desperation in their depths.

"I- he-" Stuttering wasn't helping. I bit my lip, wringing my hands together, "Magnus seemed to think that we were… in love." Those two words were like bullets that hit Jace square in the chest. He nodded as if he'd been expecting it and then let out an angry yell, punching the hood of the car. I flinched, noticing the blood on his hand but didn't make a move towards him.

"Of course he did. And I'm assuming you told him this?" He seethed, shaking with rage, fear or anxiety, I didn't know. Maybe all three.

" _No!_ " I shouted, "Why the hell do you think I'd do that? Because I'm so determined on ruining my sister's marriage?!" He went still, his skin growing sickly pale as he bit his lip. I saw his eyes glimmer and realised with a jolt that there were tears in his eyes, barely being held back. Seeing them, I felt my own start to surface.

"When I first met Val," he whispered, "I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Dating her was awesome, fun even, but…" he faltered off, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "Marrying? It's a lot to take on, and settling down just wasn't something I thought I'd be doing anytime soon."

I dared to step forward, taking encouragement in the fact that he didn't move away, "Jace, it's completely normal to feel-"

"No, I need to say this." His powerful gaze softened and my heart seemed to beat harder, "It might be normal to feel slightly reluctant to marry, but I know there's no excuse for how I started feeling, how I feel right _now._ Ever since you started pestering me for that _damn_ remote." My lips broke out into a breathless smile, and I felt my cheeks get wet. _I'm crying. I'm crying because ever since I started to like him, I'd dreamed of him saying these words._

"And then, at your parents' house," his voice cracked, and I knew we were both thinking of when we'd almost kissed. We'd been so close to never going back but had stopped just in time, "You don't know how badly I just wanted to give in, seeing those big, green eyes of yours just looking at me, _pulling_ me…" Jace let out a shaky laugh but there was no humour in his tone. He sounded scared, terrified of what this confession could mean for the both of us, "Seeing you in that dress at Bane's, that was it for me."

My lips parted as I took a step closer. I was close that I could see the amber flecks in his eyes, hear every breath he took. "What was?" I said softly, looking up at him.

"I knew I'd fallen in love with you." And just like that, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

* * *

 **THAT finally happened then ;) Opinions?**

 **Shadowhunters: loving the show so far but not feeling the Clace as much as I did in the movie :( They're supposed to be falling in love and at the moment, I'm not even seeing them as friends which is kind of disappointing. Loving the Malec though and looking forward to Simon as a vampire ;)**

 **Just a little side note: does anyone watch Once Upon a Time? If you don't, I completely recommend it - it's one of my favourite tv shows of all time!**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	13. Loving and Losing

" _I'll be fine."_

That's what he'd said. And yet Val knew it was a complete lie. She'd been feeling like that a lot lately, questioning everything around her: every smile, every laugh. Normal things she saw everyday now wore a dark, dangerous edge that haunted her, threatened to destroy her perfect facade. _I'll be fine._

Val hadn't believed Jace once bit. Then why had she gotten out of the car? Why had she left him? _Because it was too hard._ She was good at glamouring things, pampering them to something unrecognizable to what they'd been before. But fixing things? Not even her expert ideals could cope with something beyond repair. Jace's smile had spoken great lengths, and she was scared to investigate them, to see how truly broken he could be on the inside. _He said he'd be fine, so he will be. He's fine!_

Swallowing, she watched as the black convertible drove down the road, the back of Clary's redhead just about visible before they turned a corner and were out of sight. A small sigh escaped her lips. _Clary._ Her younger sister was the only thing she was certain about now, the only person she could rely on. Thank god she had Clary to keep her going when she swore she was to fall. Clary would always be there for her, no doubt about that.

"For a girl that's about to be a bride, you don't look that happy!" She turned to see Isabelle standing in the doorway of her apartment, her long black hair in a bun that was slowly falling out. Her perfectly threaded eyebrows were raised, and she was wearing a red-lipped smile of concern.

Val tried not to frown. _I need to stop walking around like someone's just died. It's my wedding in two weeks, for Christ's sake!_ "Just thinking," she mused, smirking as she walked up to Isabelle, "A girl's gotta plan, and there's the all the catering and-"

The dark-haired girl cut her off, pulling Val into a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "I told you I'd sort all that out if you wanted me to, didn't I? And you went all control freak on me, saying you'd do it all yourself!" They both laughed, but to Val it sounded half-hearted, like they were both just going through the motions. Everything was like that now. _I'll be fine._

"Izzy, I'll be fine. It's just stressing me out. I just got my wedding dress though…" Isabelle squealed, a huge beam appearing on her face.

"Girl, you have to show me! Come in, it's so fricking cold out here…" She excitedly pulled Val inside, shutting the door behind them. Val looked around the apartment in admiration, noting all the changes compared to the last time she'd been here. Just a few weeks ago, and yet Izzy had still managed to update a hell of a whole of things in that small space of time. Her apartment represented Isabelle's mind set: any new trend she liked, her living space gladly showed off.

It looked a lot more modern, a drastic change from Izzy's shabby-chic/vintage phase. Before, the carpet had been cream with rose printed rugs and curtains to match. Now, the floor was bare hardwood, and a sleek black and white rug adorned half of the hallway. Everything was more or less black and white and where a stylish bird cage had been hanging from the banister was now home to an array of glass-blown ornaments. They were unusually pretty and Val imagined what they'd look like in her own apartment.

Hanging on the wall in the hallway was a framed picture of Izzy's most recent ink art - she worked at a tattoo parlour called _Rune Designs_ and some of her artwork left Val amazed. It was a different style from Clary, who preferred to capture what was around her and more. Izzy drew things fantastical and nonsense, things that were pretty without having an explanation as to why they were. Proudly showcased on her wall was a sketch that reminded Val of Celtic designs but not, with swirling lines and crosses melding into the center like a rose bud. The colours were that of the Northern Lights, the bright blue like a beam of light in the middle.

"That one's different from your others. More… positive." Izzy nodded, her gaze joining Val's at the ink art.

"I wanted a break from skulls and forces of darkness and all that." She snorted, "Thought bringing in some new designs might bring in some new customers as well."The smile slipped from her face as she turned to Val, "Something happened today, while I was working. Sebastian paid a visit."

Val froze, various thoughts going through her head, none of them pleasant, "Oh?" Even to her own ears, her voice sounded pissed. Just the mention of that bastard's name made her blood run cold.

Izzy watched her carefully, biting her lip, "He just wanted another tat. It was harder to find a space to ink it this time. He's had a lot more since, well, I'd last given him one." Val absent-mindedly scratched her hand, her nails brushing over the slightly raised skin. If she looked hard enough, she could see the ghost of two initials entwining together: _SV._ She remembered the pain of it, her first and last tattoo. But at the time, it had seemed completely worth it, with Sebastian's hand warmly clasping her other one.

" _It's like ripping off a band-aid. Quick, I promise." She smiled uncertainly at him, taking comfort in his presence, in his gentle words. Sebastian grinned, and her heart fluttered, "I love you, you know that, my Valentine?"_

 _The breath was knocked out of her, in the most beautiful way possible. Those words that she'd so desperately wanted to hear from her dangerously unpredictable boyfriend were now her anchor. Something that told her he wouldn't drift away from her as she'd previously feared. He was going to stay, because he loved her. He loved her._

" _I love you too." She breathed, her lips stretching into a helpless beam. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, giving her a wink before turning to Isabelle._

" _She's ready." Izzy nodded, walking over to Val confidently. A small feeling of hesitation wormed in her gut but it evaporated away when she met Seb's dark gaze. His eyes glimmered with a dark light, a soft, alluring darkness that she wanted to immerse herself in and just let go of everything else. Her own eyes flitted to his bandaged hand, and she remembered watching in wonder as his skin glowed with their initials. He'd proved himself, proved his devotion. Now it was her turn. She closed her eyes as the pain came, one thought going through her head the entire time: this is for him._

Val blinked, dropping her arm back to her side. When they'd broken up, the tattoo taunted her, reminding her of how stupid she'd been to believe his false promises. She'd had it removed, leaving an ugly scar behind. The pain had been excruciating but it wasn't enough to block out her broken heart. Nothing seemed to be. Idly, she wondered if Seb had bothered to get his removed as well. She wondered if she'd be disappointed or not if he had.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing much. He said he'd seen one of my recent designs - you know the lightning/tree one? - in the window and fancied getting it himself. Ended up inking it on the top of his shoulder," Isabelle tapped the body part in question, a thoughtful look on her face, "He wasn't like I remember him, Val. Almost-"

"Even more of an arrogant prick than before?" Her heart wasn't in the insult though. Val's fingers grazed the tattoo scar again. Izzy sighed loudly, shaking her head.

"No! He was… quiet. Closed-off. It was actually kinda depressing seeing Sebby like that. I'm guessing you've seen him since he's come back." She just nodded. "Well, you got him walking around with his tail in between his legs like some kind of pathetic lost puppy. He thanked me after I finished his tat, paid and then left."

"Well, that's that then." There was an uncomfortable pause before Val cleared her throat, forcing a bright smile on her face, "Do you wanna see that picture of my wedding dress?" Isabelle clapped her hands together, nodding vigorously.

"You bet I do!" Val laughed, drawing her phone out of her pocket and scrolling through her photos, all the while thinking back on a disastrous relationship that had ended in flames and heartbreak. One she hadn't thought about in a long time. _I love you, you know that, my Valentine?_

Ever since she'd seen Sebastian back, thoughts of him were full of contempt, disgust and hatred. But amidst those thoughts, there now lay a tiny bit of wishful thinking.

 _I love you too._

...

Happiness was something I would associate with sunshine, flowers, rainbows - sparkly, _happy_ things. But from this moment on, I would always associate happiness with kissing Jace Herondale for the first time. I couldn't remember a time when I'd ever been happier.

His lips were soft yet firmly reassuring as they gently pressed against mine, his warm hands cupping my flushed face. My own hands found their way into his hair, raking through the golden strands to loop around his neck. We held tight to each other, our gasps in between kissing filling the air around us in a symphony of something amazingly out of control - incredible. His words still echoed in my head, fueling my passion by the second. _I knew I'd fallen in love with you…_

I loved him back, so much so that I could barely comprehend it myself. Being around Jace made me anxious, even afraid at times, but adventurous too. Daring, in a way that I'd never felt before but wanted to, again and again, for the rest of my life. I never wanted to lose this feeling but rather live it, breathe it. I wanted to be daring for as long as possible. I wanted Jace.

After what felt like a blissful eternity, we finally broke apart, resting our foreheads together as we both let out deep breaths. Jace gazed at me, his thumb gently caressing my cheek and I leaned into his touch. His voice was a soft whisper, almost as if he were afraid of breaking this amazing moment by breaking the silence, "Clary… I-"

"Shh…" My lips brushed his and I felt him smile. "We don't need to worry about anything right now. Because I want to stay here, right now, with you and nothing else." This new-found strength from within me goaded on my desire, and I became rougher in kissing Jace, my lips trailing a hot path to his neck. He groaned, walking slowly in the direction of the brick wall of our apartment, pushing me up against it. On instinct, I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling his need for me press against my own. _Shit, I want him…_

A car driving past pulled me out of my reverie and I gasped, breaking away from him sharply. " _Fuck,"_ Jace moaned as he fell back, staggering slightly. His blonde hair was messy, his golden eyes shining as he stared at me. They were brighter than I'd ever seen them before, and his lips were bruised-looking, his jawline started to colour. I winced, reaching out to touch his cheek before halting.

"Oh my god. We were- we were just making out in _public._ For everyone to see!" Jace's lips parted as he went to speak but I beat him to it, "How could we be so _careless?"_

He shrugged, but the movement was more jerky than casual. His heart must be racing just as much as mine, "Technically, _you_ were being the careless one. _I_ pulled away, but no, you just yanked me right back by the collar! Not than I'm complaining-"

" _Jace!"_ I glared at him, but the lopsided grin never left his face. I sighed, shaking my head frantically, "We _kissed._ I-" Tentatively, I felt my bottom lip, hoping to god it wasn't as bruised as it felt. That's just what I needed - the evidence to our betrayal spotlit right on my face! The gravity of the situation started to weigh me down, "What are we going to do?"

For once, he didn't seem to have an answer. The man that I loved raked a hand through his disheveled hair, glancing at the ground, lost for words. I looked to the sky, watching the sun as it started its descent in the sky. I thought about how quick everything was happening around me, today the quickest of all. Only this morning had I been headed to Bane's Bridal Dresses with Val and now it was evening, and Jace Herondale had just proclaimed his love for me. _Well, this has been a heck of a day._

My eyes flitted to his hand that was brushing through his hair and the blood on his knuckles gleamed in the light. _He nodded as if he'd been expecting it and then let out an angry yell, punching the hood of the car. I flinched, noticing the blood on his hand but didn't make a move towards him._ "Oh god, your hand…"

I rushed over, gently holding his bloodied fist. Jace winced as I lightly traced my finger over the wound, "Shit, that hurts." Biting my lip, I tried to see if there was any glass embedded in his hand but it was hard to tell in the diminishing light.

"Come on, let's go inside." I whispered, clasping my hand in his other one and pulling him towards the door. "I'll be able to see it better."

His voice was pained, and yet Jace still managed to try to be funny, "Don't worry, Clary. Loss of limb will not effect my devilishly handsome features." I snorted, fumbling for the apartment keys in my pocket.

"God forbid if that happens."

"Pray to the whole universe if it does." I finally found them, fitting one in the lock and turning it quickly. The door swung open and we both headed inside, the hallway pooling with light and brightening up our faces. Suddenly, Jace turned towards me, an uncertain smile on his face, "Clary, before I die, can I ask you a question?"

I rolled my eyes, slamming the door shut. My pulse was quickening, even more so when I saw the blood dripping from his hand onto the floor, "You're not going to die, Jace-"

"Can I just ask you something?" His tone was uneven and I watched him warily, unsure of what he was going to say. He leaned against the wall, cradling his bloody hand to his chest. "I just- you know I love you, right?" I couldn't help the blush that coloured my cheeks, the joyful leap of my heart at his words. Nodding was all I seemed able to do. "Well, I know this has just happened but I never stopped to see if you felt the same way-"

"Don't be stupid." I interrupted him, walking past into the kitchen where I began to raid the drawers. Where did we keep the medical stuff again…?

"I'm not being stupid!" He protested from behind me. "It's true! That whole thing was me saying how _I_ felt but then I kissed you and I never even bothered to see if the feeling was mutual…" I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on my face. Picking up the pack of bandages, I whipped around to face him.

"I can tell you right now, the feeling's _much more_ than mutual." Jace grinned, his lips breathing into my ear as I tried to wrap up his hand.

"Wanna bet?" The husky sound of his voice made my breath catch and heart nearly stop. I pulled away, raising an eyebrow at him. Desperately trying to hide just how daring he made me feel, how much desire I had for him in that moment.

"Not while you're currently injured, Herondale. Ease up a bit." Jace chuckled, but his smile vanished replaced by a serious look that gave me chills.

"I don't want to lose you." I looked up at him, my hand cupping his cheek, the gentlest of touches. His eyes closed, sighing in content. Jace's skin was warm, a comforting kind of warmth that made you think of fireplaces on a winter's night. Everything about him was beautiful in that way, a breath-taking contrast to all else that was around him. And sometimes, his surroundings threatened to overwhelm him completely.

"I don't want to lose you either."

* * *

 **Hey, everyone I updated! And look, a flying pig just went past my window ;) Really, really sorry about how long I've kept you guys waiting but now I'm on spring break so an update should happen sometime next week. I'm holding myself to this :/ Thank you so much for all the praise for My Worst Betrayal - it makes me so happy to know you all like this story and my writing :)**

 ***SPOILERS***

 **Shadowhunters: So the siblings twist came up. Tbh, I felt the movie did a better job at portraying that scene. I don't know, I just felt like it was a bit rushed, but Kat and Dom's acting was amazing during it. I feel like both of them have stepped up a great deal since the pilot and have truly embraced their characters. Can't wait for season 2! Oh, and have you guys seen the promo for the next episode, where Magnus rushes in on Alec and Lydia's wedding? My Malec heart is ready for this ;)**

 **~InfernoAlive x**


	14. AN (Please read!)

**Hey everyone :/ First of all, I want to stay sorry for being so shitty at updating. It's been months, I know, and I think that everyone that is** **still** **reviewing and checking in to see if this story has been updated are just too amazing. Thanks for sticking with me and this story, despite how crap it is! xx**

 **I've just finished my exams (They went well in case anyone would like to know :) ) and now the rest of school is literally the countdown until summer. I have no excuses now and updates** _ **WILL**_ **come, even if I have to die to make it happen - hopefully not though ;) To be completely honest, I'm not sure where I'm taking the storyline of Clary, Jace and Val though I have a few ideas in mind. (Writer's block is a bitch -_-)**

 **I do know though that not everyone's going to have a happy ending and that's a promise. (sorry :p)**

 **I love all of you that supports The Worst Betrayal and hopefully most of you still love this story. The wait won't be long now!**

 **~InfernoAlive xx**


	15. A Terrifying Kind of Love

My heart stuttered nervously when I heard Val open the front door and walk into the apartment. It was a weak flame in my chest, desperately trying to stay alight - but cold winds threatened to snuff it out completely. That, in itself, scared me.

As if from their own accord, my eyes found Jace who sat calmly on the couch, his bandaged hand resting on the table. I noticed his shoulders tense and I swallowed, warring thoughts going off in my head like bullets: _How could we do this? How could we keep doing this? How could we tell her? How could I get her to forgive me? Would she forgive-_

My sister waltzed into the room, but her usual grace was lacking, almost as if her heart wasn't in it. I began panicking all over again, even more so as she settled next to Jace, giving us both a smile. "How are you two, then?" _Was that suspicion? Disgust? She was looking at me awfully closely…_

Jace coughed, "Ok, I guess. But alas…" he winced as he tried to raise his bandaged hand, "I have returned injured." He smiled grudgingly at Val, who gasped, gently inspecting it. My heart ached as I remembered how I'd bandaged it carefully, the only thing going through my head was hoping he would be okay. Now, with Val's gaze directed at his hand, Jace met my eyes and I was frozen by the hopelessness in his.

 _I don't want to lose you._

My lips parted but I didn't dare say a word. Val shook her head, "I can never leave you alone, can I?" Jace chuckled dryly and I bit my lip. She tilted her head to the side, "How did this happen?"

 _I don't want to lose you either._

"Well-"

"He tripped up." I interrupted quickly, and Val looked over to me, her blue eyes wide and curious. I wouldn't risk seeing Jace's reaction. A single look from him could break me completely. "On the way back. We got out of the car, and there was a stone, or something… clumsy idiot ended falling on his ass and his hand." Val laughed, and it changed her face utterly. A painful jolt went through me - I hadn't seen her this happy in ages, it seemed. And her laugh, that was something I hadn't heard in awhile. _And it's all my fault._ In fact, she looked quite pale, almost sickly, even while laughing...

"Oh my god…" she giggled, "Clumsy idiot, indeed." Val turned back to the clumsy idiot in question, who grinned at her. That grin: it amazed me how I could now see right through it, see the pain and the regret. Whatever had happened between Jace and me, it had opened new doors and windows, allowing me to glimpse things I'd never knew existed before. _That's love; exploring together and each other, finding new surprises along the way._

Val gently reached out a hand and cupped his cheek, leaning close. A sour feeling built up in my throat as she pressed her lips to Jace's, whose eyes fluttered closed as he returned the kiss. Then, he pulled away, smiling tightly at Val, "How was Izzy's then?"

My sister blinked, a hint of confusion on her face before she covered it up with a smile just as tight as his, "Great. Her designs just keep getting better and better… I think you'd like to check them out Clary."

I jumped, startled at the sound of my own name, red rushing to my cheeks. Val wasn't even bothering to hide how confused she was now. _For god's sake, way to go Clary! Just act like you've been bloody stabbed every time she talks to you!_ Jace gave me a meaningful look from behind her and my heart leapt at how tenderly concerned he looked.

 _Or maybe he's freaking out over how painfully obvious you're being!_

"Oh, um, yeah, sounds cool." I internally cringed. As quickly and effortlessly as I could manage, I changed tact, "Wow, it's so late. Why don't I leave you guys alone and…" _It hurt to say that, to act like that. Like I wasn't in love with the ridiculously hilarious, gorgeous, surprisingly self-obsessed yet humble when he wanted to be, human being that was engaged to my sister._ I coughed awkwardly, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Val sighed, "Ok then. Night little Red." I chuckled, waving before turning my back on them to go to my bedroom and try desperately to get lost in my dreams.

"Goodnight, Clary." Jace suddenly said, and I set my jaw, fighting against every instinct to turn right around and run into his arms. I inclined my head and continued on walking.

Who knew pretending not to love someone could be this difficult, especially since I should've been used to it by now?

Except this time, I wasn't just protecting myself anymore. I was protecting both of us.

...

Val bit her lip, watching Clary walk away until she heard the slam of her bedroom door.

"I'm sorry for that," Val quickly muttered, "Clary's almost as worked up about the wedding as I am." _I just wish she didn't have to be so rude about it._

Jace shrugged though there was something about the gesture that set Val on edge, "It's ok. She's allowed to have opinions about this if she wants to."

"It's been ages though!" Val blurted out, suddenly feeling the need to prolong this conversation further. Something had changed, something was different. It wasn't planned, primped and prepared - and that terrified Val. That meant mistakes could be made. "And the wedding's in what - two weeks? That's practically tomorrow!"

Jace swallowed, scratching the back of his neck. He was feeling awkward, and Val forced herself to hold back. _Don't take it out on him. It's been rocky lately, no need to make things worse._ Keeping that in mind, Val forced on a bright smile.

"I don't know, everything seems to be falling apart lately," She watched Jace carefully, biting her lip to stop herself from telling him all her worries, all her hidden thoughts and feelings. _I'm scared. No, scratch that, I'm terrified. I don't want you to leave me, not when it's finally meaning something to me. I'm finally falling in love again, properly this time, and everything's perfect. But everytime I look into your eyes, all that I've gotten used to starts to shatter. You make me doubt myself, and I don't whether that's what it feels like to be in love with you or not and that's scary. I don't know anything anymore._

"Hey, chin up," Jace squeezed her knuckles affectionately, and she tried, oh damn she _tried,_ to let go of that veil of doubt that obscured everything in front of her. His golden eyes were twin suns, blazing too bright and beautiful to be true. "We'll get through this together." And it was something in the crack of his voice that told her he wasn't talking about the wedding at all. It was something much more terrifying than that.

"Of course we will." Val breathed, nodding once before getting up, "Do you want a little late-night snack before bed?" Jace nodded once, and when he did, Val stopped herself from crying out in frustration. _What is wrong with us? When did we start treading lightly? When did we start feeling like we needed to?_

Her fiance sat as still as stone as she left the living room for the kitchen, but not before looking over her shoulder to see Jace put his head in his hands. In that moment, Val chose to be a coward, biting her lip before fleeing to the kitchen: the easy way out. Seeing Jace in that vulnerable state when he was convinced she couldn't see him tore at her heart.

She found herself recounting all her previous relationships to calm herself down while buttering a slice of bread on repeat. There was Mike, the sweetheart that was a bit too sweet; Dylan, a bit too enthusiastic to certain-death experiences for her liking; Jesse, completely dream-worthy except for that annoying snoring habit.. Then there was Gabriel, the first guy that Val had been convinced had taught her what it meant to love someone.

 _Love…_

 _What did it mean to love someone?_

A tear slid down Val's cheek.

* * *

 **Short, I know, but I wanted to get this out as quickly as possible for you guys! x**

 **And maybe there might be an extra-long update this weekend... ;)**

 **Opinions on Clace sneaking behind Val's back and bride-to-be's thoughts and feelings?**

 **~InfernoAlive**


	16. I'm Sorry (AN)

First of all, I'd just like to say that I'm sorry for abandoning this site and all of you guys. It's literally been nearly a year and so much has happened since then that I'm sorry to say that updating has been extremely low down on my list of priorities.

I'd thought I'd send this out to tell you guys that I have no inspiration or motivation to continue The Worst Betrayal - so again I'm so sorry. I know a lot of you have told me how much you've loved reading this, how a lot of you have come to love Val as my first OC. So thank you so much, to everyone that favourited, followed and commented, to everyone just browsing through and happening upon my story, to each reader. You all mean a lot to me. Merry early Christmas! x

 **The following may be triggering to homophobic people so I'd suggest you leave before I upset you :)**

This year I've been dealing with a lot, including coming to terms with my sexuality. Anyone who has gone through this can agree that it's an emotional fucked up journey, confusing as hell (at least for me lol) and also about finding out who you can trust (also at least for me)

I was curious at first, and then curiosity quickly turned to terror when I realised I was thinking about this more seriously than I first thought. I remember looking at people I knew differently, and this next bit is going to sound so fucking cliche but it's true - I started getting a crush on one of my best friends - who's _a girl._

I like girls and I like boys. I'm bi, and the first time I said that out loud, I cried my eyes out. Because I was both scared at what that might mean for me and also so so _happy._

I guess the reason I told all of you this is because I want you to understand the reason as to why I've been gone for so long as well as to reach out to anyone that might be stuck in the same position that I was. Trust me, it's worth it once you admit it :)

I guess this is an official goodbye instead of disappearing without explanation for a few more months. Thank you so much for all the support and I love every single one of you reading this!

Jess x


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